New Earth:Gold Ball forces(working title)

[ScottPCHC]

Yeah i've went and started writing my original idea. I've spent a good month planning some stuff out for it, and i completed my first episode tonight . I say episode because I planned it all out to be an anime or manga. But i have no artist or an animator lol. So its going to be a story for now . Just thought i'd let you all know. If your interested i'll post the sort of backstory/history my story is set around. And hopefully a link to my first episode once i get it all proof read and editted

[ScottPCHC]

New Earth : The Gold Ball Forces (working title)



..::The Story so Far...::..

..::Chapter One: Man's end..::..

The Earth as we knew ended in the winter of 3036. This particular winter was the winter when mans biochemical weapons built primarily for defence became their undoing. A war that had waged on for six years was ended in one huge blast. The sky turned a crimson red, as the Earth below the soldiers began to slowly crumble away. The bombs dropped upon the urban battlefields had finally triggered a reaction within the earth's core. And in a matter of hours the core erupted. The earth exploded into nothing but microscopic pieces of earth. The blast shattered throughout the universe, and soon it was known to all that one of the univerese's most advanced planets was now gone.



..::Chapter Two: The travelling survivors, and New Earth..::..

Years passed since the destruction of Earth before the word of it reached the Zelron 55, a travelling space ship that had been sent to gather resources from other galaxies in order to fuel the war. They were also carrying a huge cargo, a ship full of evacuees. These women and children had been sent away from Earth as more and more cities became battle grounds. The crew onboard the Zelron 55, recieved the news after attempting to report back to HQ when they finally landed on an abandoned planet, that was almost identical to Earth. The crew had only one thing left to do. And they set up camp on the new planet, Claiming it as "New Earth" and slowly rebuilding a world they had lost to war. Eventually more and more Earthling spacecrafts that had escaped the planet before its demise stumbled upon radio signals being sent from the Zelron 55. And eventually the planet was again slowly filling with New Earthlings who were all in favour of rebuilding their civilisation.

..::Chapter Three: Are they Alone?::..

A few more years since the settlement on New Earth passed and the New Earthlings had began to spread out across their new home. When one day a travelling group of men stumbled upon a group of people they did not recognise as "human". These people were the Incardians, identical to Earthlings in everyway except for their blue skin and super human speed. Also thanks to evolution some Incardians had become able to control the world around them using their thoughts, a great power that the New Earthlings drastically needed in order to live comfortably. At gun point the Incardian group was taken back to a New Earth town. Where the story of Earths destruction was revealed to them. The Incardians were released as prisoners and spent months in the Earth town. Eventually the New Earthlings had some questions of their own to ask their new guests. And soon the Incardians felt it was time to take the New Earthlings to the side of the planet they had occuppied for thousands of years.
The Incardians being the strange race that they are had named their cities using numbers. Which was confusing to the New Earthlings as they had began their enquiries. The Incardian cities themselves were a breath of fresh air for the New Earthlings, this was because Incardian technology was had advanced to that of Old Earths just before the war. The Earthlings all travelled to various cities and were welcomed by the Incardian Kings. The two Races lived in peace for many, many years to come. But the greed of men could not stay dormant forever.

..::Chapter Four: One Man, and his war...::..

Joe Goldball was born half earthling and half incardian. Something that was still thought as weird even in those hard times. His odd skin colour and super strengths caused him to be picked on by other New Earth children. As he grew to become a man, he founded the Goldball Organisation. They were a small group of half bloods united against their enemies. Above ground Goldballs organisation built schools, and hospitals. The underground of their business was to slowly own New Earth for themselves. The half bloods Incardian blood allowed them to never age above the age of manhood. The organisation worked away, watching many humans pass away, and slowly starting to own more and more resources, land and important services. At the dawn of the fourth millenium (4000ad) the organisation now owned the police, the New Earth military, the banks, the schools, the hospitals. They owned whole cities of people and they controlled the planet. The New Earthlings lived peacefully under Goldball's rule, where as the Incardian people began to worry about the power the New Earthlings had gained.
A small army of Incardians was founded. And on one night, now marked in New Earths history books, they snuck into a small town of Earthlings and took control of it. It wasn't long until Goldball's organisation received word of this invasion and they unleashed the army and weaponry they had been hiding for so many years. Thus the war of New Earth began. A war that was waged for ten long years, that almost destroyed the planet in the same way as Old Earth. had it not been for the vast unused wastelands they had to fight on the planet would no longer exsist. The war ended and Goldball and the New Earthlings had taken full control of New Earth. Incardian survivors had become slaves, or had been cast out of the cities, which where now protected with huge walls. the Wastelands outside of the walls were the old cities of New Earth that had been almost destroyed. They were called the blocks. huge ghettos scattered outside walls containing great beauty. These blocks were filled with criminals, incardian protestors, and Earthlings who could not afford to live in the paradise Goldball had created.

..::Chapter Five: New Earth, Present day..::..

Goldball lived within his empire. While the criminals and outcasts of New Earth lived poorly in the blocks outside the cities. Many terrerorist organisations were spawned from within the blocks, but any who attempted to take on the city were wiped out. Some however, mostly the criminals kicked out of the cities would form groups in order to take over the blocks. This spawned the "block wars" where men from each block would either attack or defend their terroritories. Pure madness is what the outsides of New Earth had become. And this is where our story begins, with two teenage boys who live in Block 4.




What do you think? this is rough. As my actual story progresses some of this might get editted

[Mavin Maverick]

After a very quick look, it sounds like it could be interested. However, this looks more like a sysnopsis than a story, and perhaps that's okay, if you're going for more of a storyboard. If you want to go more with a prose type writing, you may want to consider starting the story where the story starts, and build the background into it as you go.

I'll probably read it more thoroughly later, as time permits. If you want editing, let us know, and I'll try to give you some more advice.

[ScottPCHC]

Yeah thanks nah that isn't part of the story its just a part i wrote that explained how New Earth came to be and why the issues in my story take place. I have finished episode one and will be starting episode 2 tomorrow. i have also broken this down into sagas so its really episode 1 of the "Seven Squad Saga". anyway heres a link to episode 1: http://groups.msn.com/NewEarthTheGol.../episode1.msnw