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| Fan Art & Fiction A place for artists and writers to share their anime or game related work. |
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February 28th, 2006, 04:42 PM
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#1 |
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Would be anime fan-boy.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In a place other then that wich I am not.
Posts: 20
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FanFiction by DatDude
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The Darkscribes! Learn to love it Last edited by DatDude; May 20th, 2006 at 09:04 AM. |
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March 1st, 2006, 01:32 AM
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#2 |
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Keel's Girl
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Making Vlad fan-art
Posts: 255
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Hell I've read it and I liked it! The chairman didn't approve because he got made fun of! Apologize to K-Chan!
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Sleep is for the weak! Current Avatar: Keel Sprite. http://www.videogamerecaps.com/ |
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March 1st, 2006, 06:18 AM
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#3 |
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Would be anime fan-boy.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In a place other then that wich I am not.
Posts: 20
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Sorry chairman I'll give him a bigger role in my next story
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The Darkscribes! Learn to love it |
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March 1st, 2006, 07:44 AM
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#4 |
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Keel's Girl
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Making Vlad fan-art
Posts: 255
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You called him fat....and made fun of him for being a cyborg! Machines are people too!
Poor K-Chan might not recover!
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Sleep is for the weak! Current Avatar: Keel Sprite. http://www.videogamerecaps.com/ |
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March 1st, 2006, 11:45 AM
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#5 |
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Would be anime fan-boy.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In a place other then that wich I am not.
Posts: 20
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Ok K-Chan im sorry.
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The Darkscribes! Learn to love it |
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April 12th, 2006, 06:19 PM
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#6 |
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Would be anime fan-boy.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In a place other then that wich I am not.
Posts: 20
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Theirs been a few updates since I posted this so BUMP
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The Darkscribes! Learn to love it |
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May 20th, 2006, 09:05 AM
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#7 |
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Would be anime fan-boy.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In a place other then that wich I am not.
Posts: 20
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Stick me with a fork I'm done. Let me know if ya like it over all.
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The Darkscribes! Learn to love it |
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May 20th, 2006, 09:34 AM
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#8 |
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Watching Reign: The Conqueror
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 13,544
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For which story are you seeking feedback?
General comments after reading the single chapter "untitled" and the first couple of chapters of "Redeeming the Demon": Pretty well written prose; it all reads easily. Specific suggestions: 1) Stop trusting a computer to do your spell-checking and grammar checking. Print a hardcopy and go through it with a pen. Encourage someone else to do this for you at least once. 2) Homonyms. You often use an incorrect, similar-sounding word to the one you want. If I had to guess the reason for this, I'd say it comes from clicking the first word proposed by the spellchecker. The spellchecker doesn't know the difference in context between 'bare' and 'bear', so this is a bad idea. 3) Commas. I've noticed, that in a lot, of places, you like to use, commas, a lot. In other situations you don't use them at all which struck me as odd but I can't really see enough of a pattern to tell what's going on. Take a run through your prose and check for comma usage (or lack). Other than that, it's some pretty solid prose for a fanfic. Kudos.
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Desslock's opinion doesn't even factor in because he's played Devil's advocate for both sides of the argument... ~Chuchuchrain Last edited by Leader Desslock; May 20th, 2006 at 09:46 AM. |
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June 22nd, 2006, 02:38 PM
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#9 |
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Would be anime fan-boy.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In a place other then that wich I am not.
Posts: 20
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I have a new story called Ambition. Give it a look is you have the time. Same link
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The Darkscribes! Learn to love it |
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June 22nd, 2006, 03:32 PM
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#10 |
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Iz our frisbee now!
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 772
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yep, that is a really solid fanfic all right, one of the best i've read so far
you should probably have someone adapt it into manga because it would be a shame to let it go to waste Desslock's right, though .. lay off the spellcheckers programs and do the work manually .. i figure since you're a good writer you won't have any problems with a little spelling |
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June 25th, 2006, 04:11 PM
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#11 |
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Would be anime fan-boy.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In a place other then that wich I am not.
Posts: 20
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Update again!
OH and yea I know about the bugy characters in chapter two the DS crew are working on it
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The Darkscribes! Learn to love it |
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June 27th, 2006, 04:37 PM
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#12 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Clearwater, Fl. U.S.A
Posts: 132
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I read the both of them on ff.net. Good stuff and worth reading.
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-God answers all prayers, sometimes he answers no. -because a lot can happen in 24 hours -"Consistancy people, consistancy!!!" -Comedian George Carlin |
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June 28th, 2006, 07:59 PM
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#13 |
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Would be anime fan-boy.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In a place other then that wich I am not.
Posts: 20
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Another update. I've had free time can you tell?
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The Darkscribes! Learn to love it |
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June 30th, 2006, 08:29 AM
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#14 |
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Insanity is colorblind.
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 136
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I've read Ambition I must admit I don't like evengelion but I do like your fic. It's a neat take on Asuka's mother.
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July 2nd, 2006, 08:51 PM
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#15 |
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Would be anime fan-boy.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In a place other then that wich I am not.
Posts: 20
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Chapter three and four got re touched and now flow a lot better
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