Why do I hate people?

That question has been ringing in my head lately.

It started sometime last week.

I was working my floor as best I could during the midshift rush. Being the newest manager at our store, I was being forced to run the worst shift of the day on a consistent basis to get used to the way things run. Baptism by fire, that's the Mcdonald's way it seems.

But I digress.

I sent my front counter person on break, and began sweeping up the debris left behind the counter by the lunchtime Maelstrom.

As I was performing my minimum wage duties, a lady came to the register. I placed my broom in a corner and asked her how I could be of service.

She informed me that she had two free meal cards, both of which she would be using that afternoon.

"Not a problem," I answered, "what can I get for you today?"

The false cheer of management wavered, however, when the lady responded,

"One of your brethren in the Ord Mcdonald's screwed up royally. That's how I got these cards."

Inside, I sighed deeply. Forcing my face into a cheeky grin, I told the lady

"That doesn't surprise me, ma'am. I've heard stories about the Ord branch."

That was actually true. Fellow employees at my store had often come back from a trip to Ord with tales of inept service and unsatisfactory behavior. Not that our employees are candidates for MENSA either, but I suppose that's neither here nor there.

In any case, confident that my avoidance at the route the conversation with my customer was taking, I asked her again what I could get for her.

Her response was,

"I got these cards because I called the 1800 number on them. There was an employee who came back from break and he was not shaved and his hair was a mess and his smell almost knocked me across the room. I told him I didnt want anything he touched and then called the 1800 number. They sent me these cards, and GUESS WHAT? I checked back with them later and he got fired!"

She beamed at me as she said these last words, as if she had just told me of an award she won.

I blinked at her, and straightened my tie uncomfortably. She finally ordered her food, I promoed it off, and she was gone.

But the anger. Set aside the fact that the Ord store is run by apes and the man probably deserved whatever he got, and focus with me for a second.

This woman was not only satisfied that she was compensated for whatever imaginary stress she endured in the Ord store, she was exceedingly thrilled and proud of herself for managing to get someone fired in the process of obtaining free food.

She didn't know the man. He might have had a family to feed. Might have been down on his luck. Granted, one should endeavor to put the best foot forward at their place of employment if these are the circumstances, but the fact of the matter is that she didn't know the man from jack, and was proud that she got some unnamed grunt fired from his job.

I got so angry, I frothed about it for days. Thoughts of "I hate people I wish I could have slit the fat cow's throat" and "I wish global thermonuclear war would break out and turn this animal race of ours into ashes" burned through my veins.

These were followed by the usual thoughts. That I was a monster for thinking these things. That I was dark and unholy and that nobody really knew what I was capable of.

But then I recalled my earlier years.

In my younger days, I was a saint. I never got in trouble, I was always kind, I went out of my way to do for others. I preached peace and love to a small group of people who would listen, and lead by example. I believed in peace among men, and justice above all else.

Justice above all else.

These words hung in my mind like a dank cloud. It was then that I realized I haven't changed.

I've become jaded. Here I thought I'd been walking around devoid of a sense of morality, when all along I've been living by a sense of justice so strong that it has caused me to judge my fellow man undeserving of salvation.

I've made a pact with myself to correct this behavior. To worry about my own actions, and lead by example. Those who wish to follow will. Those who don't will not.

It'll take me a while, but why not? You only live once, right?








Also I quit smoking. Feelsgoodman.