AnimeNation Adventures: Alpha Female Wars (Part 04)

In spite of the obvious dangers involved, most of the Alpha Female contenders thought of the competition as simple ***-kicking fun. Naturally, it took news of DazzleKitty's death to remind them all of the serious business they were entered into. Nevertheless, most of those remaining adjusted rather well to what now felt like an all-out war.

Sora N, however, hated every part of it. She hated her seemingly psychotic opponents, she hated the uncomfortable heels that came with her mandatory blue/green Senshi outfit (figures Videl had to pick a bastardized version of Sailor Moon as the central theme), and she especially hated Videl herself for drawing her into this whole mess.

So it only figured to her, reluctant as she was, that the fights would come to her in an instant. Surely enough, her prediction came in the form of the red-and-white clad SangoStrummer, her giant bronze microphone banhammer standing proudly with her as she adjusted her red-tinted sunglasses.

"Well, well," Sango exclaimed excitedly, "The lovely Sora N gets to perform a duet with me today. Let's give a big hand, ladies and gentlemen, for tonight shall be a performance none will forget!"

Sora N sighed to herself, Sango's dramatic display giving her a headache. Nonetheless, she reached for her teal triple-pronged spear banhammer in defense.

"You've got to be kidding me," Sora N complained.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Sango asked in confusion. "Sora N doesn't want to sing with us? After all this trouble just to find her, no less? Well... we can't have that, can we?"

As Sango laid the bottom of her mic to the ground, speakers had formed from the very ground they stood on, all of which immediately played the music of her choice. Then, once the chimes began to ring through the speakers, Sango began her number.

"SORA, SORA, SORA N, YOU'RE REALLY SUCH A BORE."

Sora N, naturally, groaned at such a half-hearted insult as she waited for her opportunity to counterattack.

"SO NO DOUBT YOU'LL NEVER WIN THIS ALPHA FEMALE WAR."

'Great, just what I need,' Sora N thought to herself, 'some jerk taunting me through a Lady Gaga parody.'

"DI-DI-DDDDD-DID YOU THINK YOU REALLY STOOD A CHANCE?"

"DON'T BE FOOLISH, GIVE UP AND ENJOY YOUR LAST DANCE!"

As the music began to heat up, hundreds of colorful laser beams shot from each speaker straight toward Sora N, to which she wasted no time in attempting to dodge.

"ENJOY YOUR LAST DANCE! E-ENJOY YOUR LAST DANCE!"

"'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA DIE YOU SHOULD ENJOY YOUR LAST DANCE!"

"This is so lame," Sora N rebutted, retaliating with her lightning-charged trident banhammer charging toward Sango, doing her best to avoid as many lasers as she could. As she reached Sango, however, she was blocked by yet another speaker, this time rising directly from the ground Sango stood on, giving her the high ground.

"YOUR ATTEMPTS TO COUNTER ME WON'T GET YOU NOWHERE!"

"SO, DEAR SORA, STAND RIGHT BACK, I'LL SHOW YOU DESPAIR!"

Sora N simply glared at Sango, keeping as far away from ground zero as possible as she began to charge her trident once more.

"DON'T YOU THINK IT'S PERSONAL, THERE'S NO ONE TO BLAME!"

"YOU'VE JUST BEEN OUTCLASSED BY ME, NOW YOU LOST THE GAME!"

As another barrage of lasers struck her in the chest, Sora N didn't even budge in spite of the burning sensation left behind. She merely kept her trident pointed at Sango, interrupting her song with lyrics of her own.

"STOP FIGHTING, STOP FIGHTING! I DON'T WANT YOUR ******** NO MORE!"

Sango stood amazed, not sure whether to be surprised more by Sora N's song hijacking or her swearing.

"I NEVER ASKED TO BE PART OF THIS DANCE WAR!"

Sora N continued to shrug off every laser aiming to pierce her as she jumped onto Sango's platform, trident right at her throat.

"E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-STOP TRYING TO KILL ME-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E!"

With every syllable she uttered in her lyrics, Sora N's trident shocked Sango with thousands of volts of electricity. Though bleeding and burning herself, she focused only on the song and using it against Sango.

"I'M BUSY-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-STOP TRYING TO KILL ME-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E!"

Sango, infuriated, sheathed her microphone to her back and tackled Sora N off the platform, both of them plummeting to the ground. Allowing Sora N to cushion her fall, she smirked heavily while caressing the wounds left over from the impact.

"SORA, NICE TRY, BUT IT'S GONNA GONNA FLY, AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA WIN THIS ALPHA WAR!"

Placing her left hand tightly around Sora's neck, Sango grabbed her banhammer once more as she prepared to finish her off.

"EVEN IF YOU STAND, YOU'RE GONNA GET BANNED, AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA WIN THIS ALPHA WAR!"

Before she could even lower her banhammer, however, Sango found a trollface-marked spear lodged right near her throat. Looking up, she found yet another familiar competitor glaring sternly into her eyes, as if she was waiting for just this moment to interrupt her musical number.

Sora N, meanwhile, simply laid motionless as she glanced at the newcomer. Recognizing her in an instant as Goddessofanime, her nerves immediately jolted as she worried whether of not she was on her side.

"BY THE WAY, YOUR LADY GAGA SONGS WON'T HELP YOU WIN NO FASTER! CLAIM YOUR PRIZE NO FASTER! RULE THE WORLD NO FASTER!"

GOA, in a musical hijack of her own, pulled Sango off of Sora N by her hair, her spear still ready to decapitate her in a flash.

"YOU SHOULD'VE PICKED ANOTHER SONG, 'CAUSE YOU'RE SET FOR DISASTER! FOR YOUR POWER SUCKS, AND YOU KNOW THAT I'M THE MASTER!"

Sora N, in confusion, watched as Sango squirmed silently to the threat of GOA. Not knowing if she was friend or foe, and herself too injured to run away, her only option was to confront her.

"NOT THAT I DON'T LIKE YOUR SAVE, BUT WHAT HAPPENS TO ME? WHAT WILL YOU PLAN AFTER YOU'RE THROUGH WITH MY ENEMY?"

GOA simply smirked at Sora N, making sure Sango got a good look at the trollface emblem of her spear as she continued to taunt her.

"YOUR FATE WILL ALL DEPEND ON YOUR ABSOLUTE LOYALTY! SO DON'T BE SUCH A MORON, SORA; WILL YOU JOIN ME?"

"WHAT?"

"WILL YOU JOIN ME? W-WILL YOU JOIN ME? DON'T BE SUCH A MORON, SORA; COME AND JOIN ME!"

Not having much choice in the matter, Sora N nodded silently to GOA, making Sango scream in frustration over GOA's new intent.

"STOP TAUNTING! STOP TAUNTING! I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE! HOW DARE YOU COME AND INVADE MY OWN DANCE FLOOR!"

GOA, in a fit of excited madness, sang those same words to Sango in the most mocking manner imaginable as the speakers each generated a laser show variation of Lady Gaga adorned with the cape and sunglasses of Kamina from Gurren Lagann. Sora N, naturally, couldn't help but laugh at such dramatic irony.

"SANGO, NICE TRY, BUT IT'S NOT GONNA FLY, AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA WIN THIS ALPHA WAR! EVEN IF YOU STAND, YOU'RE GONNA GET BANNED, AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA WIN THIS ALPHA WAR!"

Sango, her glare notwithstanding even under the extreme pressure, spat in GOA's face in a pitiful attempt at retaliation.

"MY ALPHA WAR! IT'S M-MY ALPHA WAR! MOCK ME ALL YOU WANT, BUT IT'S NOT GONNA WORK, AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA WIN MY ALPHA WAR!"

"Nope."

Her last words spoken, Sango's head came clean off with one stroke of GOA's blade, as the red text surrounded her remains and consumed her into oblivion. To add further insult to injury, GOA grabbed her microphone banhammer, her smirk not fading in the least.

"We're sorry," GOA finished, "the number you have reached is not in service at this time. Please check the number, or try your call again."