Puns that should stay

[SlackerDude]

I hate puns. Every time I witnessed someone make a pun I wanted to crack his jaw open. (And I didn't include women into this because I don't like thinking about hitting women, but I really wanted to put the words 'pun', 'crack' and 'jaw' in the same sentence; I think they fit together well).

For a few reasons though, I want to find out if there's such a thing as a good pun...

Now, I realize the irony of asking people to post puns that they think are good after what I said in the first paragraph, but I assure you I'm not gonna give you any ****:P I just want to read some examples, I won't insult you or comment in any negative manner.

That being said ... Give me an example of a pun you thought is good or come up with one of your own.

[The Million Dollar Prons]

For a while I thought this thread was called

Prons should stay.

and I was like "wtf did I get banned or something."

[Leader Desslock]

Why was the ram crying? Because the song playing on the radio was "There'll Never Be Another You."

[fujyoshi]

prons SHOULD stay (:

[Gray]

For a while I thought this thread was called

Prons should stay.

and I was like "wtf did I get banned or something."


If you we're banned you wouldn't have been able to log into the forums at all.

[Broand]

Why couldn't the blind man build a house?

Because he had no site.

[Holy Knight]

I don't think we'd get along well, then. I have a propensity to pun with delight (good or bad) at every opportunity. -_-;

I am opposed to banning puns! They might make you groan, but I think they make conversations more interesting if given at the appropriate time. It's word play (maybe not at its finest) and they can be clever on several levels.

I'd make one up, but those are generally my bad ones. You're better off googling some than me bringing one on a bike and being two-tired to tell it correctly.

[fujyoshi]

puns /hmm I don't really know because I don't know things /swt

[SlackerDude]

I don't think we'd get along well, then. I have a propensity to pun with delight (good or bad) at every opportunity. -_-;

I am opposed to banning puns! They might make you groan, but I think they make conversations more interesting if given at the appropriate time. It's word play (maybe not at its finest) and they can be clever on several levels.

I'd make one up, but those are generally my bad ones. You're better off googling some than me bringing one on a bike and being two-tired to tell it correctly.

I'm opposed to banning puns too! Just because I suggested I might not react well toward one doesn't necessarily mean I'm some sort of free speech fascist:P

...I realize now just how hostile my opening post was, but let me add that I didn't start from the premise that all puns would annoy me; That's the reason I made this thread.

You're better off googling some...

Will do, though I'm still interested in your answers

[Trefellin]

(And I didn't include women into this because I don't like thinking about hitting women,


You sexist!

[Caster13]

I think that just bad puns can be done away with. You know, the ones that ACTUALLY make you facepalm?

[Tom Servo]

I think that just bad puns can be done away with. You know, the ones that ACTUALLY make you facepalm?
Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they ar!

[SlackerDude]

Why was the ram crying? Because the song playing on the radio was "There'll Never Be Another You."

Desslock, I was planning to leave this one alone and avoid looking like a potential idiot, but it's bugging me man ... Can you explain the pun to me?

Edit: Oh ... when you finish moving, of course:P

[throughhim413]

I presume that it has something to do with female sheep being called ewe (which is said the same way as "you"). No more females would be enough to make most males cry, I think.

[Leader Desslock]

^ You've got it.

Here's one of my favorites: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Oh ... when you finish moving, of course:P
Fixed the sig for you. :P

[SlackerDude]

^ You've got it.

Here's one of my favorites: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.



Oh yeah, I get this one :)

Fixed the sig for you.:P

I've moved, but my internet connection is shakier than Michael J. Fox's handwriting, so my interaction will be limited.


Dude .............. ........ :( ................................

......Not cool man....

[Leader Desslock]

Dude .............. ........ :( ................................

......Not cool man....
:lol: Ah, that was the reaction I was hoping for. I love shock humor.

Changed back to my traditional quote.

[KabukiSaMuRaI]

One that I heard a long time ago....

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

Almost like a bad joke.

[KabukiSaMuRaI]

Just noticed this now but he made one when he titled his post

Korea's Got Seoul.

[autsiticanime]

'Will our heroes get out? Will they find love? Will Shakesphere wrote screenplays.'

Why didn't the cast of Evengelion go to the academy awards? One Asuka (Oscar) was enough.

*Giggles like Nadesico's Izumi and gets the fudge out.*

[The Million Dollar Prons]

:lol: Ah, that was the reaction I was hoping for. I love shock humor.

Changed back to my traditional quote.

I bought my girlfriend a vibrator that shakes more than Micheal J Fox in the San Fransico earthquake.

[fujyoshi]

I bought my girlfriend a vibrator that shakes more than Micheal J Fox in the San Fransico earthquake.

O-o what in the world

[Shiroiyuki]

O-o what in the world

*sigh* Poor guy has Parkinson's. <_< Desslock that was lame!


Remember:
Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt.

[KatayokuのTenshi]

http://www.xkcd.com/282/ :P

Oh, from the Discworld novel Soul Music.

'That's a harp he's playing, Nobby,' said one of them, after watching Imp for a while.
'Lyre.'
'No, it's the honest truth, I'm-' The fat guard frowned and looked down.
'You've just been waiting all your life to say that, ain't you, Nobby,' he said. ' I bet you was born hoping that one day someone'd say "That's a harp" so you could say "lyre", on account of it being a pun or play on words. Well, har har.'

...you know, I can't actually think of a 'good' pun.

One that I heard a long time ago....

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

Almost like a bad joke.

What do you mean "almost"?

[SlackerDude]

I bought my girlfriend a vibrator that shakes more than Micheal J Fox in the San Fransico earthquake.

I guess I was ****ing asking for it :lol:




Edit: Right now, I'm watching an episode form the third season of Dexter, it's called "Finding Freebo":|

Freebo's some murderer form the last episode

[Bernard_Monsha]

Why was the ram crying? Because the song playing on the radio was "There'll Never Be Another You."

I will see your pun and raise you this


Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says: "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

[Soluzar]

Here's one of my favorites: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
That's one of my favourites. Another one I really liked was: Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.

I saw that one on a bookstore carrier bag once, and instantly loved it. In general I'm not great at making puns. The same can't be said of my better half, tenshi_a, though. She can usually turn anything into a pun. Not always the best pun, but usually worth a despairing groan, at least. :lol:

[Leader Desslock]

...tenshi_a, though. She can usually turn anything into a pun. Not always the best pun, but usually worth a despairing groan, at least. :lol:
My friends and I are like that. We have a tendency to walk along and make puns out of whatever we can spot in the environment.

For example, we were driving home one night. The moon had just recently risen. We were driving past a field, and the field was sitting next to an old house. In typical Maine fashion, there were assorted junk cars and parts all over the house lot and through the field. A couple of car doors were leaning up against a fence post. I saw the opportunity, waited until the car doors were lying just under the moon in our line of sight, and said, "Look - Moon Over Parador". (This was just after the movie had come out, incidently)

Sometimes, timing is everything.

I like the "inside/outside of a dog" bit. Very good. I'll remember that one.

[Ridley-X4]

I love the "pingas" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MyPWXB5o-Q&feature=related) meme on Youtube, if that counts.

[Shiroiyuki]

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

If only I didn't read 'foyer' as 'foyay', it would be a bit more funny. *shrugs*

[Leader Desslock]

A string walked into a bar and tried to order a beer.

Pointing to a sign on the wall that read NO STRINGS ALLOWED, the bartender scowled, "We don't serve your kind in here. Get lost!"

The string, undeterred, made his way into the mens' room. He twisted himself in a loop and separated some of the loose strands on the top of his head. Happy with his disguise, he made his way back to the bar to order a beer.

The bartender eyed him up and down, then asked, "You're not some kind of string, are you?"

The string looked back at the bartender and cooly replied, "No sir. I'm afraid not."

[Ridley-X4]

Q: Did you hear about a new board game based on that drama about airplane crash survivors?

A: Yeah, I have Lost: The Game.

Now read the answer aloud.

[Broand]

^2 Eurgh.

I don't know about you, But I get my neck wear in Thailand.

[Old Ape Face]

I've been living in the same house since I joined AN, and I'm sailing the same ship since then too.

[Meggles]

I made a pun without even knowing it yesterday. ;) It was pretty bad:

A: He has a piggybank in his bike seat!

B: What? That makes no sense!

Har har har, That was punny! :P

[autsiticanime]

What's a dizzy joke? S-pun.

Wanna hear a short joke?

[Holy Knight]

Since everyone is offering up puns, here's one I said a few months ago while we were cooking, among other things, carrots. It was said in French, though, so I'll translate as best I can.

Me : "man, these are taking a long time"

Family : "well, a bit longer and they should get done"

Me : "Maybe we should roast them. Give them a light beating and shave their tops"

Family : "..."

Me : "Hey, they can take it. They're hard to boil, after all"

Family : facepalm.jpg

Yeah, that one's a groaner. -_-;

I don't have a particular favorite or I've simply forgotten it if I ever had one. I like Soluzar's and Desslock's "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." a lot, though.

[Sendo Takeshi]

The best puns are usually made from unfortunate incidents.

[Ikari Warrior]

Personal favorite from my philosophy class 7 years ago:
Professor: "What is the definition of a chair?"
Student:"It's something you sit on."
Professor: "Suppose I sit on my car?"
Me: "That's a chairiot!"

Family: "What do we do with all these chairs?"
Me: "Donate them to chairity?"

The string looked back at the bartender and cooly replied, "No sir. I'm afraid not."

I thought the punch line was spelled "I'm a frayed knot." Of course it sounds the same, but I think spelling it makes it more "punny."

The best puns are usually made from unfortunate incidents.
I thought the most unfortunate incidents are usually made from the best puns?

[SlackerDude]

The best puns are usually made from unfortunate incidents.

You mean unintentional puns? Ah, man, I didn't even realize that those are puns too until I read your post.. First thing that came through my mind was remembering I used to do a lot of them then I'd be like "oh **** wait :lol: .. though I can't really remember any ..

Anyway, they were kind of in the same department as this one I found on wordpress.com:

Irish actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers: “The greatest pleasure I have is coming out of the gym and, while I’m waiting for me old protein shake, I’ve got a *** in me mouth.”

I recently learned to watch my mouth though :lol:

Edit: mmm ... got censored eh? Well then, anybody who hasn't already figured out what the word is can PM me :P

[Caster13]

I love the "pingas" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MyPWXB5o-Q&feature=related) meme on Youtube, if that counts.

what the hell is that?:blink:

[Meggles]

what the hell is that?:blink:

The best part is when he says "pingas" :P

[fujyoshi]

*sigh* Poor guy has Parkinson's. <_< Desslock that was lame!


Remember:
Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt.



I don't get it /swt

[Meggles]

I don't get it /swt

when she says "drive" its referring to driving in golf (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golf#Types_of_shots).

[Ridley-X4]

Here's another pingas variation: Cowboy Bebotnik (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zTF6RflAYI&feature=related)

[Meggles]

Historical and Bilingual Pun:

When Gen. Charles Napier conquered the Indian Province of Sindh, he sent a one word message to his commander: Peccavi, Latin for "I have sinned."

[SlackerDude]

Cowboy Bebotnik (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zTF6RflAYI&feature=related)

... Perfect example of why you shouldn't eat raw sugar in large quantities -_-;

[Pessimist]

My sister whines there are too many wines.

The only one I could come up with. It is a bit tad odd considering that I've been more or less infamous from my horrible pun infested posts. Not here yet I hope. In any case, some English speakers have their aitches, while some do not. Hillbillies say vehicle with the aitch, while posh people do not. With most other words tad odd - it is the other way around.

[SlackerDude]

I got it, I finally found one :smokin:

Chick seeking advice from her male friend:

Chick: "When my boyfriend tells me to go make him a sandwich, what's a good comeback?"

Friend: "Well, you better come back with his goddamn sandwich."






Sorry for the thread necro but I think I just made history today.

[Melion]

Looks like this dead pilot

*puts on glasses*

just got his flight cancelled.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[SlackerDude]

^^
http://wwwimage.cbs.com/cms/files/images/primetime/csi_miami/bio/csi_miami_david_caruso_240.jpg ??

[Melion]

^^
http://wwwimage.cbs.com/cms/files/images/primetime/csi_miami/bio/csi_miami_david_caruso_240.jpg ??

Horatio, the master of puns.

[Sushikins]

I got it, I finally found one :smokin:

You mean this?

http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/6331/1260149599579.jpg

[Leader Desslock]

Horatio = The proportion of Johns to ladies of negotiable affection.

[SlackerDude]

You mean this?

http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/6331/1260149599579.jpg

Pre~cisely.