Weird Tourist Questions

[Jia]

I found it on a website:

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I've never seen it rain on TV. How do your plants grow? (UK)

A: We import all of our plants fully grown and then sit around watching them die.

Q: My wife and I enjoy walking tours. How long will it take us to get from Perth to Sydney on foot? (Canada)

A: How long did it take you to do your last 4,000 kilometre walk? Bring a bottle of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? If so, can you send me a list of all of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: What is the weather like in Vienna in May? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available year-round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful nation of vegan hunters and gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Are the rattlesnakes in Melbourne deadly? Do you sell anti-venom at the grocery store? (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca, which is where you come from. Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make great pets.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? If so, when? (France)

A: Occasionally, and if so than during our Christmas annual leave.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go in Australia? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.


Add your own?

[MirKz]

I actually got asked something similar to this (Can't remember word for word).

Do you have kangaroo's in your street ?

Do you ride them ?

(A mate once said his old man actually told some Americans that he kept a kangaroo as a pet and trained it to hop down the store to get the newspaper every morning). haha

[Soluzar]

You guys think you have it bad, but half the Americans I've ever met think that the UK is still just like in a novel by Jane Austen or Charles ****ens. I swear, some of 'em are surprised we have electric lighting, and eat other things than tea and scones.

[The Million Dollar Prons]

I swear, some of 'em are surprised we have electric lighting, and eat other things than tea and scones.

But isn't the UK exactly like that.

[Nakey]

The fun bit is when you convince yanks to eat a tablespoon of vegimite. It's Karma :P

Recent ones

Q: how come Australia's so screwed up? that Pedophile that locked his daugher in the basement for so long, man that's just F***ed up (USA)

Q: So, have you seen that sopranos ripoff? i know it's fiction, but man, aussies with italian accents pretending to have gangland violence is BS man. (Canada, Show he was talking about is Underbelly, not that i'm allowed to see it....)

and the usual "shrimp on the barbie", "land down under is our national song" and "fosters is aussie for beer" crap we're used to...

But isn't the UK exactly like that.

nope. it's full of boozing ladettes that need deportment classes, swearing chefs who think they can change school food, plenty of coppers and lots of detectives who solve screwed up cases

havn't you watched british TV?

[Jia]

The fun bit is when you convince yanks to eat a tablespoon of vegimite. It's Karma :P

LOL I told this American guy to go eat a jar of it. :D "Cos that's what Aussies do!"

I was joking and all...but he got some nasty blisters.:naughty:

[Nakey]

hehe well done

Unfortunately, all the yanks i get in touch with have already been tricked by my fellow aussies

Off Topic Edit: i love you avvie. it's pretty ^^;;

[Xhalen]

LOL I told this American guy to go eat a jar of it. :D "Cos that's what Aussies do!"

I was joking and all...but he got some nasty blisters.:naughty:

Wait are you trying to tell me that Aussies just don't sit around eating vegimite, drinking Foster's while riding around in the pouch of a kangaroo?

[Ikari Warrior]

There has to be some kind of retarded question involving boomerangs...

[DavenIII]

you know the more I hear about Vegimite the more I want to try it... how bad can it possibly be...I've eaten plenty of random crap from other countries I really don't see why you'd have to "Trick" Americans into eating it, heck I "Want" To try it.

[Bernard_Monsha]

Americans get the same thing. Most of our questons are related to TV programs or songs.

Do you live on a farm? (Green Acres, Little House on the Prarie)

Do you drive a pink Cadillac? (The Boss)

Do you ride a horse to school? (Every western made since the 50's)

Do you have an oil well in your house? (Goddamned Dallas)

Do you really have missing millionaire on island? (Gilligan's Island I think?)

Do you enjoy watch Large Red Bison of Chicago Ball Basket? (NBA)

[Old Ape Face]

Q: What is the weather like in Vienna in May? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y.

Q: Are the rattlesnakes in Melbourne deadly? Do you sell anti-venom at the grocery store? (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca, which is where you come from. Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make great pets.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go in Australia? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Man if I didn't have a sense of humor I would have though you were dissing Americans for a second there XD.

Actually Those are rather funny becuase they are so true XD

[Old Ape Face]

You guys think you have it bad, but half the Americans I've ever met think that the UK is still just like in a novel by Jane Austen or Charles ****ens. I swear, some of 'em are surprised we have electric lighting, and eat other things than tea and scones.

I thought that till I talked to an Asian chick with a British Accent.

[Soluzar]

you know the more I hear about Vegimite the more I want to try it... how bad can it possibly be...I've eaten plenty of random crap from other countries I really don't see why you'd have to "Trick" Americans into eating it, heck I "Want" To try it.
You don't understand. The "trick" is that you should never... ever eat a whole spoonful of Marmite/Vegimite. You're supposed to spread it on stuff, like toast, or sandwiches. A thin layer is best for those who've never tried it before.

The taste is powerful. If you eat a whole spoonful with nothing else to go with it, that's going to be pretty disgusting. I dare say I wouldn't use a whole tablespoon on an entire serving of Marmite on toast for two!

As far as I know, Marmite and Vegemite are essentially the same thing. I heard that Vegemite is a bit more full-flavoured than English Marmite though.

[Old Ape Face]

You don't understand. The "trick" is that you should never... ever eat a whole spoonful of Marmite/Vegimite. You're supposed to spread it on stuff, like toast, or sandwiches. A thin layer is best for those who've never tried it before.

The taste is powerful. If you eat a whole spoonful with nothing else to go with it, that's going to be pretty disgusting. I dare say I wouldn't use a whole tablespoon on an entire serving of Marmite on toast for two!

As far as I know, Marmite and Vegemite are essentially the same thing. I heard that Vegemite is a bit more full-flavoured than English Marmite though.

Hmmm would it be more appropriate to associate it with something like eating a spoon full of wasabi? not that it burns but the sensation is just as bad?

[MirKz]

I've only ever been able to eat Vegemite once, that was when I was a kid and mum had, had some friends over earlier that day and left some crackers with vegemite on them out. They'd dried out a bit... and I had one... but no... since that day I've never touched Vegemite, the smell is enough to repel me.

Funnily enough when I was 13 and went with my family to America on a business trip, nearly EVERYWHERE we went, we were asked if we were from the UK or New Zealand. Hardly anyone guessed right that we were from Aus.

[Soluzar]

Hmmm would it be more appropriate to associate it with something like eating a spoon full of wasabi? not that it burns but the sensation is just as bad?
Yeah... kind of like that, or maybe a spoonful of mustard?

It's just too powerful to eat that much at once. It's not spicy or hot, it's just a really strong flavour.

[DavenIII]

Hmmm would it be more appropriate to associate it with something like eating a spoon full of wasabi? not that it burns but the sensation is just as bad?

but thats the thing, I like doing that kind of stuff, I was wandering around in a Cosco (its a bulk shoping store that hands out free samples) the other day and they had Sushi so I acted all like I had never tried Wasabi before and ate a spoon full of it, the girl almost lost her mind.

"No NOOOO it very hot very hot don't eat it"
"Ohh noooo"

then I laughed and said it was ok I'm used to the stuff it was pretty funny, I can't see Vegimite being worse then that, I've done similar things like drinking tabasco sauce aswell.

Gimme a Spoonful of Vegimite i'd probably not react and then the joke would be on you :P

and I hear the english stuff has a even stronger taste (On Wiki at least)

[KatayokuのTenshi]

But isn't the UK exactly like that.

Only if you know where to go. :shifty:

you know the more I hear about Vegimite the more I want to try it... how bad can it possibly be...I've eaten plenty of random crap from other countries I really don't see why you'd have to "Trick" Americans into eating it, heck I "Want" To try it.

Well if it's anything like Marmite you'll either love it or hate it...

I like it on toast, but I've never been able to stomach it on a sandwich... or biscuits (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twiglets) ...or are they crisps?

[Bernard_Monsha]

Yeah... kind of like that, or maybe a spoonful of mustard?

It's just too powerful to eat that much at once. It's not spicy or hot, it's just a really strong flavour.

No not even close. Both marmite and vegemite taste like the scummy solids that build at the bottom of a brew tank after fermentation. This is unsurprising because they are both made from the scummy solids that are at the bottom of a brew tank.

[Soluzar]

No not even close. Both marmite and vegemite taste like the scummy solids that build at the bottom of a brew tank after fermentation. This is unsurprising because they are both made from the scummy solids that are at the bottom of a brew tank.
You're right; Not even close, but then... how do you describe the flavour to someone who never tasted it? I'm saying it's comparable in strength to mustard, not flavour. You only use a little mustard, right? You wouldn't eat a spoonful of it.

Doesn't surprise me that you're not fond of Marmite though. Something tells me ya gotta be either British or Australian to be eccentric enough to like it. :P

[goddessofanime]

Vegemite and Marimite sound gross (no offense to Austrailians/UK).

However, as a English literature freak, I'd love to check out the old villages/buildings in the UK sometime.

[Bernard_Monsha]

You're right; Not even close, but then... how do you describe the flavour to someone who never tasted it? I'm saying it's comparable in strength to mustard, not flavour. You only use a little mustard, right? You wouldn't eat a spoonful of it.

Doesn't surprise me that you're not fond of Marmite though. Something tells me ya gotta be either British or Australian to be eccentric enough to like it. :P

There is a reason the U.K. and Oz are not known as gourmet Meccas on the world stage. :P

[Soluzar]

There is a reason the U.K. and Oz are not known as gourmet Meccas on the world stage. :P
Unless you like curry. There's more curry in the U.K. than in any of the countries from which it originates. :naughty:

That aside, though... yeah. I can't exactly say that a lot of "traditional British fare" is particularly inspiring.

[goddessofanime]

Don't the British have a huge reputation for bad food?

[333jeffery]

The Brits don't believe in using spices other than salt and pepper. Makes the food very boring. And, their steaks are like rubber.
BTW, goddess you would love the english countryside. All the old manors and cathedrals. Ireland and Scotland are nice, too....

[goddessofanime]

I really would like to see Ireland. Especially County Cork.

*has ancestors hailing from that area*

I seriously love looking at old cathedrals though. That's one of the things I miss about being close to Philly. Lots of old churches and cemetaries there.



*is not a Goth. Well...maybe mentally? Dunno*

[333jeffery]

Cathedrals are there by the hundreds! Also, old Roman ruins in parts of the UK. It's like stepping back in time...

[goddessofanime]

Cathedrals are there by the hundreds! Also, old Roman ruins in parts of the UK. It's like stepping back in time...


Oh I'd imagine there would be so. :)

I'd really like to see Bath. Mainly because of my Jane Austen fangirlism. But..that's for another thread...:)

[Caster13]

Goddess would get homesick when she can't find any cheesesteaks and whatnot.:lol: j/k. Or am I right?:huh:

[Suiko Eiji]

There has to be some kind of retarded question involving boomerangs...

Or dingos eating babies. I have some Australian clients I work with and they love it when I mention that. :lol:

Unless you like curry. There's more curry in the U.K. than in any of the countries from which it originates.

I know. There's so much of it that you serve it as dipping sauce at McDonald's. Which, I'm willing to procure some American foodstuff and ship to you in the UK if you can get me a ten or twenty kilo box of the stuff.

[Caster13]

Or dingos eating babies. I have some Australian clients I work with and they love it when I mention that. :lol:



I know. There's so much of it that you serve it as dipping sauce at McDonald's. Which, I'm willing to procure some American foodstuff and ship to you in the UK if you can get me a ten or twenty kilo box of the stuff.

We don't use metric, so that wouldn't work.

[333jeffery]

My mom got to hold an actual wombat!...

[Old Ape Face]

You're right; Not even close, but then... how do you describe the flavour to someone who never tasted it? I'm saying it's comparable in strength to mustard, not flavour. You only use a little mustard, right? You wouldn't eat a spoonful of it.

Doesn't surprise me that you're not fond of Marmite though. Something tells me ya gotta be either British or Australian to be eccentric enough to like it. :P

i'd eat a spoon full of mustard, depends on what kind :P

[CrossboneGundam]

http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/2200/suicideroogh5.th.jpg (http://img266.imageshack.us/my.php?image=suicideroogh5.jpg)

I just showed this kangaroo the first post.

Also this is one of those times I wish I'd started keeping a notebook full of stupid questions years ago so I could pull them whenever someone says there's no such thing as a stupid question.

[Old Ape Face]

http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/2200/suicideroogh5.th.jpg (http://img266.imageshack.us/my.php?image=suicideroogh5.jpg)

I just showed this kangaroo the first post.

Also this is one of those times I wish I'd started keeping a notebook full of stupid questions years ago so I could pull them whenever someone says there's no such thing as a stupid question.

well you ask a stupid question you should get an answer that's equally stupid :P

[Caster13]

My mom got to hold an actual wombat!...

Yes, but did it rape her and give her an Australian acent?

[J.Mizuno]

I live in DC so I hear them all

"Does the President own all of DC?"
"The Washington Mall, does it have a Starbucks"
"People live in DC? Though it was just the Senators and Congressmen"
""Wheres the scene in Forest Gump at where his girlfriend jumps in the water?"

Nothing to major to me. :\

[Old Ape Face]

The Brits don't believe in using spices other than salt and pepper. Makes the food very boring. And, their steaks are like rubber.
BTW, goddess you would love the english countryside. All the old manors and cathedrals. Ireland and Scotland are nice, too....

Well the Canadians don't believe in putting ice in coffee, you go to Canada and you go to a Starbucks, there's not a single ice coffee drink.

So I guess we're even. :P

[Haro!]

Hmm, sadly I haven't had particularly interesting/dumb tourist questions. Just a couple questions I've been asked:
Tourist: Hi, can you point me to the Empire State Building? (while right in front of it)
Me: *points up*
Tourist: Oh!

Tourist: Do i have to pay to get into the Apple Store (5th Avenue)?

when I worked at the museum:
Tourist: Excuse me miss...
Me: yes?
Tourist: wait, I mean sir... or miss.. Wait what are you?

There are more I just have to think of them

[Old Ape Face]

I live in DC so I hear them all

"Does the President own all of DC?"
"The Washington Mall, does it have a Starbucks"
"People live in DC? Though it was just the Senators and Congressmen"
""Wheres the scene in Forest Gump at where his girlfriend jumps in the water?"

Nothing to major to me. :\

Yo dude dose Lincoln Really exist as a talking head like in Futurama and they keep it in a a secret room behind the statue and everytime people walk by it they hear weird chants coming from it?

[Jia]

Man if I didn't have a sense of humor I would have though you were dissing Americans for a second there XD.

Actually Those are rather funny becuase they are so true XD

Lol I found it on a website.

Wait are you trying to tell me that Aussies just don't sit around eating vegimite, drinking Foster's while riding around in the pouch of a kangaroo?

Nupe. Like I said "Eating a full jar of vegemite is the sign of a manly man"

There has to be some kind of retarded question involving boomerangs...

I know sexual jokes but not dumb questions.:)

hehe well done

Unfortunately, all the yanks i get in touch with have already been tricked by my fellow aussies

Off Topic Edit: i love you avvie. it's pretty ^^;;

Oh thanks ^^ I like yours too. Lol...there's a sucker born every minute I say. There is always other Aussie foods you can get them with.^_^

[Soluzar]

I know. There's so much of it that you serve it as dipping sauce at McDonald's. Which, I'm willing to procure some American foodstuff and ship to you in the UK if you can get me a ten or twenty kilo box of the stuff.
I'm not sure how well that stuff would travel to be honest. :lol:

If we disregard the question of how well stuff would travel, or how unhealthy it might be for that matter, I would have two small requests in return. I would ask you to send me some Jolly Ranchers and a couple of cannoli. :D

Don't the British have a huge reputation for bad food?
I suppose... maybe. I mean, some of the traditional dishes are just far too greasy and heavy for the modern palate. These days British food has changed a lot due to influences from the rest of the world. It's definitely a change for the better. I'd say that reputation is a historical thing.

The simple dishes we always did well. Savoury pies, casseroles, roasts... etc. It's just that you can easily find a lot of bad restaurants and cafés without looking too far. I would also say that British school food from my childhood deserves a reputation as being horrible, inedible, greasy rubbish.

[taily]

You don't understand. The "trick" is that you should never... ever eat a whole spoonful of Marmite/Vegimite. You're supposed to spread it on stuff, like toast, or sandwiches. A thin layer is best for those who've never tried it before.

The taste is powerful. If you eat a whole spoonful with nothing else to go with it, that's going to be pretty disgusting. I dare say I wouldn't use a whole tablespoon on an entire serving of Marmite on toast for two!

As far as I know, Marmite and Vegemite are essentially the same thing. I heard that Vegemite is a bit more full-flavoured than English Marmite though.

marmite is made from the scraps of the process of making beer.

[taily]

I know someone who went to a restraunt in america, and ordered pancakes for breakfeast. There were ten thick pancakes piled up high. she eat three, and couldn't take anymore. then she looked over her sholder and saw a family of four tucking in the same breakfast, and there were 4-year-old girls scoffing down these huge pancakes covered in grease. This is one of the reasons some people think americans are massive balls of fluber who spend their days rolling in and out of Mcdonalds.

[DavenIII]

^^^^IHOP I love IHOP

unfortunatly I can NEVER finish, I have a really fast metabolism so I stay Skinny (although its starting to slow down now) but unfortunatly I can use it much, I eat like 7-8 times a day but I eat nothing portions.

[Ikari Warrior]

I am frequently asked for directions by complete strangers.

Ordinarily this wouldn't be considered weird. The fact that I am in my driver's seat, and they're shouting to me from THEIR driver's seat in some vain hope of me hearing...that's what I find a little too weird. And they're probably tourists since they're always asking me how to get to a road that's 3 streets away.

[Old Ape Face]

I know someone who went to a restraunt in america, and ordered pancakes for breakfeast. There were ten thick pancakes piled up high. she eat three, and couldn't take anymore. then she looked over her sholder and saw a family of four tucking in the same breakfast, and there were 4-year-old girls scoffing down these huge pancakes covered in grease. This is one of the reasons some people think americans are massive balls of fluber who spend their days rolling in and out of Mcdonalds.

Actually it depends on the person really, I mean I'm skinnier then a rail, and I eat like a horse. I eat 3 eggs, 4 pancakes, a bowl of hash, and on the side a waffle or two, with 5 strip of bacon and the coffee. Now you've seen my picture sooo.

[Suiko Eiji]

We don't use metric, so that wouldn't work.

Yes, it does. I get metric weighted packages from Japan all of the time. If I have to ship something out, I can do the math ahead of time. By the way, the US should be metric.

I'm not sure how well that stuff would travel to be honest. :lol:

If we disregard the question of how well stuff would travel, or how unhealthy it might be for that matter, I would have two small requests in return. I would ask you to send me some Jolly Ranchers and a couple of cannoli. :D

I'm sure it'd travel just fine. shipping a box of it pre-packaged would be optimum.

Cannoli might be a small issue but the Jolly Ranchers would be easy to do.

And, who cares for the health factor? I mean, it's half the reason it's soooo good. :lol:

[Jatz]

By the way, the US should be metric.


Neveeerrrr!!!! :ssj:

[fujyoshi]

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA tourist are phunneh people AHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA especially the ones that think that NY is just one big giant city :P usually I get that from southern people they'll be like "LIEK YOU MEAN TEH CITY" then I'll be like "yea the city just like the south is the country :P"

[Broand]

Oh I'd imagine there would be so. :)

I'd really like to see Bath. Mainly because of my Jane Austen fangirlism. But..that's for another thread...:)

Jane Austin eh? Well I'll have you know that Part of "Becoming Jane" Was filmed at my house. No not near but actually inside my house.

[Jia]

I know someone who went to a restraunt in america, and ordered pancakes for breakfeast. There were ten thick pancakes piled up high. she eat three, and couldn't take anymore. then she looked over her sholder and saw a family of four tucking in the same breakfast, and there were 4-year-old girls scoffing down these huge pancakes covered in grease. This is one of the reasons some people think americans are massive balls of fluber who spend their days rolling in and out of Mcdonalds.


In Aus I've heard our large meals for McDonalds are the Americans small size.
I'd hate to think what they would do if they saw a Australian kiddie sized meal.

Neveeerrrr!!!! :ssj:
Lol you supposedly converted in the 70s to metric - you lot refuse to use it.

[Undrave]

I thought that till I talked to an Asian chick with a British Accent.

*drools* Asian with a british accent...OMEGA HOTNESS!

[taily]

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA tourist are phunneh people AHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA especially the ones that think that NY is just one big giant city :P usually I get that from southern people they'll be like "LIEK YOU MEAN TEH CITY" then I'll be like "yea the city just like the south is the country :P"

That made no sense. you're crazy.

[Caster13]

Wait a sec, taily what country are you from?

[goddessofanime]

Jane Austin eh? Well I'll have you know that Part of "Becoming Jane" Was filmed at my house. No not near but actually inside my house.



Really?

If that's true, then awesome. Too bad the movie turned out to be a huge bore.


@Kenny: Taily's from the UK, I believe.


I want Rebeckafujiyoshi to give me a tour of NY now...:P

[RecentMidget]

I live in Nebraska (usa) and one question I always get is:
'Where are all the farms?'
I get this question so much, I have finally resorted to screaming 'NO FARMS HERE!!!' in people's faces. where I live, there are sky scrapers and businesses, not farmland.

[Old Ape Face]

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA tourist are phunneh people AHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA especially the ones that think that NY is just one big giant city :P usually I get that from southern people they'll be like "LIEK YOU MEAN TEH CITY" then I'll be like "yea the city just like the south is the country :P"

Well the first thing I think of when Someone says New York I think or Down Town Manhattan, New York Yankees, the Yankee Stadium , Ecs... Usually the places you hear about all the time on TV or the radio.

and I live in Connecticut, I know New York is an entire state not just a city =/