Worse than 2-D complex...

[Bernard_Monsha]

Is Auto-Erotic *** Fixation

Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-%27having-sex%27-with-1,000-cars.html)

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days.

Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US, kept quiet about his secret fetish for years, but agreed to be interviewed as part of a channel Five documentary into “mechaphilia”. He is shown meeting other enthusiasts at a rally in California

Talking about how his unusual passion developed, Mr Smith said: "It's something that grew as a part of me when I was a kid and I could not shake it.

"I just loved cute cars right from the beginning, but over the years it got stronger once I got into my teenage years and was my first having sexual urges.

"When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it.

"I didn't fully understand it myself except that I know I'm not hurting anyone and I do not intend to."

He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.

"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.

"As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.”

Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums.

[Naraku]

Doing nothing wrong my ***, he's sexually abusing those cars. Death Penalty!

[Caster13]

I agree with the title. This IS worse than 2-D Complex.

[Midoriko87]

Oh yea, I'm sure the cars enjoyed it... <_< Typical LifeTime Villain. :uhh:

[Caster13]

Oh yea, I'm sure the cars enjoyed it... <_< Typical LifeTime Villain. :uhh:

No, he'd have to be a deadbeat driver or beat the crap out of the car regularly to qualify for Lifetime.

[Tidusauron12]

Doing nothing wrong my ***, he's sexually abusing those cars. Death Penalty!

I lol'd.

I agree with the title. This IS worse than 2-D Complex.

I lol'd again. :lol:

Oh yea, I'm sure the cars enjoyed it... Typical LifeTime Villain.

I lol'd AGAIN. :lol:

No, he'd have to be a deadbeat driver or beat the crap out of the car regularly to qualify for Lifetime.

...

ROFLMAO :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Tuna]

It can't be good to have a fetish that makes fursuiting look more normal...
XD

[Ken-Ohki]

Wasn't there some guy in Britain that went to jail for sex with a bicycle?

[Caster13]

Wasn't there some guy in Britain that went to jail for sex with a bicycle?

I remember that. Bernard posted that as well.

[Caifane]

I saw this article in another forum. Someone posted a picture of the Airwolf copter with the caption "penis goes where?!"

needless to say I lol'd.

[Jatz]

I've seen a video of a woman have sex with a car before, but this is :blink:

[Illusions-chan]

I don't think I should ask this...

But how the hell do you have sex with an automobile?! :O

[Midoriko87]

I don't think I should ask this...

But how the hell do you have sex with an automobile?! :O

Offer to refill its gas tank, then slip it a roofie... -_-;

OK, I'll stop...

[Illusions-chan]

Offer to refill its gas tank, then slip it a roofie... -_-;


That is so not funny.

And the guy who was arrested. Please tell me that was an indent exposure arrest. Please. >.<

[Nakey]

But how the hell do you have sex with an automobile?! :O

Guys: Exhaust
Girls: Gear shift

... >.>;

[Old Ape Face]

Guys: Exhaust
Girls: Gear shift

... >.>;

Thus that why I suggested Girls are pro at riding stick shift.

[Len]

I drive a manual myself!

[Delta-Pheonix]

Guys: Exhaust
Girls: Gear shift

... >.>;

but.....:x

[Nakey]

At lease Skaze would find someone he can look down upon

(ignoring all those other real life 3D girls that don't match teh beauty of, say, belldandy >.>; )

[Rain]

I know not what to say because words fail me.

Oh, here's one: Absurd.

[Jia]

"As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.”

LOL sounds like my ex.

As far as it goes - if it isn't animate it isn't rape.^_^

[Xhalen]

I'd like to say that this in some way strikes me as kooky/weird/shocking but it doesn't. The guy who was arrested for having 'sex' WITH a picnic table basically lead me to realise that there really isn't anything that people won't try to have 'sex' with.

[Spadesy]

WTF? I mean seriously...DOUBLE-U TEE EFF? Wow.

Well, he seems already well past the age where his ability to reproduce sucks. Maybe this is suitable for him. It's like the 40 Year-Old Virgin on LSD.

[Nakey]

It's like the 40 Year-Old Virgin on LSD.

A 40 year old virgin on a Limited Slip Differential???

*faps*

[Caster13]

A 40 year old virgin on a Limited Slip Differential???

*faps*

:lol: good one.

And as for Guy: exhaust, someone would have to be HUGE for that to work.

Other than that maybe he just did the seat cushions.

[fujyoshi]

woow @_@ from this you guys are to never say anything about 2D complex again.

[Old Ape Face]

:lol: good one.

And as for Guy: exhaust, someone would have to be HUGE for that to work.

Other than that maybe he just did the seat cushions.

If he's a mechanic maybe he played around with the fuel injection XD

[taily]

I lol'd.



I lol'd again. :lol:



I lol'd AGAIN. :lol:



...

ROFLMAO :lol: :lol:


Calm down, deep breaths :P

[KatayokuのTenshi]

My, this is unusual.

[animeotaku99]

at least he isn't a furry.
and maybe he sticks a fleshlight in the exhaust or something.... but I want to know how he does it now

[Delta-Pheonix]

Well it isn't as weird as the guy who did a pavement -_-;

[Gibb]

I wonder if some of those 1000 cars were underage?

If they're on a showroom floor then they're probably less than 6 months old, that sick pervert!

[goddessofanime]

I don't think I should ask this...

But how the hell do you have sex with an automobile?! :O


That was the first thing that popped into my head as well. I mean.....ew.


Well it isn't as weird as the guy who did a pavement

Sadly, I have to agree. At least a car.....a car isn't flat.

[Nakey]

ok, maybe not exhaust... cigarette lighter socket?

[Caster13]

^That would ****ing hurt like hell.>_<:x

If he's a mechanic maybe he played around with the fuel injection XD

I don't think he's like Barry Bonds.

[Hara!]

I'm tempted to post that Pubic Lice fetish site now.

[Bernard_Monsha]

Sadly, I have to agree. At least a car.....a car isn't flat.

Depends on were it is on the car. Plus I think the sidewalk guy was drunk, this guy sneaks around breaks into your car and uses his willy to leave a deposit in the glove compartment.

[taily]

Imagine you just come back out of your grannies house in the country, feeling lovely thanks to the cookies she baked you, and then you see a crazed loonitic shaging your car. nice.

[Shakuras]

You've got to be kidding. *referring to this thread* *sigh*

[The Million Dollar Prons]

Did he seriously just use the adjective "pure sex"

[fujyoshi]

and I just think it would have been better if the guy HAD 2D complex. I mean how do you screw a car O_o you have a better chance pheeling yourself up to a drawing if ya ask me.

[Illusions-chan]

Guys: Exhaust
Girls: Gear shift

... >.>;

:O That is horrifying. HORRIFYING. Ewww... Icky Icky Icky! Why did I ask that question to begin with?! :eww:

ok, maybe not exhaust... cigarette lighter socket?

That's really sad. And mean. Mostly sad, though. >_< And wouldn't the guy getting broompoled by the stick shift at the same time?! That just sounds uncomfortable.... >_<

[CrossboneGundam]

Is Auto-Erotic *** Fixation

I assume you've never seen that picture floating around the internet of a middle aged fat guy in lingerie with his penis in a van's exhaust pipe.

[taily]

^ No, and I don't wish to.

[Tidusauron12]

I assume you've never seen that picture floating around the internet of a middle aged fat guy in lingerie with his penis in a van's exhaust pipe.

:censored:

[Trefellin]

I assume you've never seen that picture floating around the internet of a middle aged fat guy in lingerie with his penis in a van's exhaust pipe.

Oh God no, don't say stuff like that! Corncopp will go find it and post it, destroying whats left of my soul after seeing the trailer from that **** new Sandler movie.

[goddessofanime]

I assume you've never seen that picture floating around the internet of a middle aged fat guy in lingerie with his penis in a van's exhaust pipe.




OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW:x

[Old Ape Face]

Oh God no, don't say stuff like that! Corncopp will go find it and post it, destroying whats left of my soul after seeing the trailer from that **** new Sandler movie.

for the record. Please do.

I mean Please don't :censored:

[fujyoshi]

people pheel cars ._. soon there will be people pheeling there computers @_@ uhh I mean.... <,<

[MirKz]

yeah..... no

[Spike]

Wow thats just disturbing also 1000 cars geez thats nuts.

I assume you've never seen that picture floating around the internet of a middle aged fat guy in lingerie with his penis in a van's exhaust pipe.

Stop giving corncopp idea's -.-

[fujyoshi]

.______. my poor brain such mental images D:

[Phantom]

Wow i sense a untapped market. Top Gear X anyone?

[Jatz]

I wonder if this guy thinks when he dies he'll go to Jay Leno's garage.

[Nakey]

Wow i sense a untapped market. Top Gear X anyone?

Well Jeremy did talk about wanking in a lambo....

[Bezerker]

I wonder if this guy thinks when he dies he'll go to Jay Leno's garage.

He's a mechapheliac, not a catholic priest :-p.

[CrossboneGundam]

He's a mechapheliac, not a catholic priest :-p.

Now you're just insulting robosexuals.

[Old Ape Face]

Now you're just insulting robosexuals.

Hey C3PO is hotter then you :emo Eyes:

[Jatz]

He's a mechapheliac, not a catholic priest :-p.

Only catholic priests believe in an afterlife?

[Masokick]

This type of stuff is fascinating. Very sad, but fascinating.

[fujyoshi]

I'm scared of this topic D:

[earsofdoom]

Im never buying a used car again.

[Trefellin]

Im never buying a used car again.

Me neither. This makes me wonder, is my car a virgin? Oh wait, I don't have a car...

[goddessofanime]

He's a mechapheliac, not a catholic priest :-p.

You know, I totally read that as 'necropheliac' at first...:blink:

[Daishikaze]

Reminds me of the scene in Big Man On Campus where Bob is relating all his sexual escapades:

"Bob once make nookie.....with Buick Skylark.....and...Dodge Charger.....and Campus Washer/Dryer.....Hoover Vacuum Cleaner two speeds mrrmmm MRRMMM"