The Rain in Spain Lies Mainly on the Plain

[Bernard_Monsha]

Apparently now amorous wombats, not Henry Higgins, give vocal training.


Man said 'wombat rape' led to accent change (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/27/wwombat127.xml)
By Nick Squires in Sydney
Last Updated: 1:33pm GMT 28/03/2008


A New Zealand man who claimed he was raped by a wombat and that the experience left him speaking with an Australian accent has been found guilty of wasting police time.

Arthur Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police last month to tell them he was being raped by the marsupial at his home and needed urgent assistance.

Cradock, an orchard worker, later called back to reassure the police operator that he was all right.
A wombat like that allegedly involved in the incident


"I’ll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he’s pulled out. Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right you know. I didn’t hurt my bum at all."

He pleaded guilty in Nelson District Court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose and was sentenced to 75 hours’ community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that alcohol played a large role in Cradock’s life.

Judge Richard Russell said he was not sure what had motivated Cradock to make the extraordinary claim.

In sentencing Cradock, he warned him not to do it again.

Wombats are native to Australia and are not found in New Zealand. Although powerfully built and about the size of a small pig, they are very rarely dangerous. There are three species: the widely distributed common wombat and the much rarer southern and northern hairy-nosed wombats.

[Trefellin]

Really, what can you say about that? I'm glad it didn't hurt his bum.

So... I'm guessing that when people go on vacation to England and return with an accent, they were raped by an indigenous species.

Will this rape allegation strengthen or weaken tourism down under?

[kenshinbebop]

I don't get the relevance of the title? Am I stupid?

[Trefellin]

The title is some pronunciation exercise if I've got my facts straight.

[Bernard_Monsha]

So... I'm guessing that when people go on vacation to England and return with an accent, they were raped by an indigenous species.



Hedgehogs don't know the meaning of the word no.

[Shiroiyuki]

Why is it always New Zealand....? I'm not even shocked that a person claimed to be raped by an animal -- or that said animal changed his accent by...uh...butt-association.

I'm more shocked at the fact that whenever I hear about drunken bestiality claims, it comes from New Zealand.

Frankly, I'm even shocked it wasn't a goat or something.....

I don't get the relevance of the title? Am I stupid?
The title is some pronunciation exercise if I've got my facts straight.

Watch My Fair Lady to understand. Henry Higgins tries to teach guttersnape Eliza how to speak, act, etc. like a lady. They use this phrase (and later turn it into a song) to aid in the process. Good movie, good play.

[kenshinbebop]

The title is some pronunciation exercise if I've got my facts straight.

yeah, but what's it got to do with New Zealand, Australia, Wombats, or rape??:P

That was my question...

[Trefellin]

Watch My Fair Lady to understand. Henry Higgins tries to teach guttersnape Eliza how to speak, act, etc. like a lady. They use this phrase (and later turn it into a song) to aid in the process. Good movie, good play.

Oh yeah! They're trying to teach a little girl to be proper and all high society like, right? Is that the one? Now that I think of it, that's not a very good title.

[Shiroiyuki]

That was my question...

In the movie My Fair Lady (as I've already referenced), they use the phrase to change the rough accent of Eliza into more of a smooth...uh...ladylike one.

The man in the article claimed his accent changed by way of animal butt-sex. Almost same difference, give or take a wombat.

[Bernard_Monsha]

In the movie My Fair Lady (as I've already referenced), they use the phrase to change the rough accent of Eliza into more of a smooth...uh...ladylike one.

The man in the article claimed his accent changed by way of animal butt-sex. Almost same difference, give or take a wombat.

The most relevent line in the song being

Ay not I, O not Ow, Pounding pounding in our brain.

:lol:

[Shiroiyuki]

The most relevent line in the song being


Ay not I, O not Ow, Pounding pounding in our brain.


:lol:

>_< :lol:, you're a sick man Bernard :lol:

But I think this one is a bit better:

How kind of you to let me come!

[Tidusauron12]

In the movie My Fair Lady (as I've already referenced), they use the phrase to change the rough accent of Eliza into more of a smooth...uh...ladylike one.

It also makes sense if you saw the Family Guy reference to My Fair Lady.

[taily]

LOL.
period

[Midoriko87]

I've never seen My Fair Lady, I READ PYGMALION, LOSERS!! :P Of course, someone's gonna feel the need to go all the way back to Rome and stuff, and I'll just have to say "F you, 'Tard! What's that got to do with anything?!!" :uhh:

Anywho, yea, I never did trust them marsupials...'cept opossums (the American kind), I think we all know why... :thumbsup: Although, they do look like the Devil's dingdong...or what I imagine the Devil's dingdong to look like... :unsure: Hmm, well...I dunno, all hideous with sharp teeth, I guess...

[Trefellin]

they do look like the Devil's dingdong...or what I imagine the Devil's dingdong to look like... :unsure: Hmm, well...I dunno, all hideous with sharp teeth, I guess...

Reading that put a wave of ice through my soul and the image you conjured in my mind will haunt my dreams for an eternity. You truly are a wizard of malevolence.

[Leader Desslock]

First it's a wombat, and now it's pig-malion. I can foresee a FOX special about this: "When Animals Sexually Assault!" Live, from New Zealand.

D'oh! Now foxes are involved! Wombats and foxes and pigs! Oh, my!

[Midoriko87]

First it's a wombat, and now it's pig-malion. I can foresee a FOX special about this: "When Animals Sexually Assault!" Live, from New Zealand.

D'oh! Now foxes are involved! Wombats and foxes and pigs! Oh, my!

That reminds me... this Perro de Presa Canario killed this woman...he was trying to um..."mate" with her... Turns out, his owner had been "raping" him... true story, it happened years ago... I'm pretty sure I mentioned this before...

Used to be a time when a person only had to worry about being raped by humans...and dolphins...and possibly chimpanzees. Seems likes the more intelligent animals are doing things out of Season. Personally, I'm worried about the pigs. They'll figure it out soon (if they haven't already), and Octopi-God help us when they do.

[goddessofanime]

Does that mean if I go to say, New York, next time, I can come back with a Bronx accent and say that I got raped by a rat?

[Caster13]

Octopi-God

I see that one. "Australian Schoolgirl raped by octopus while diving at the Great Barrier Reef".:lol:

[Nakey]

Wombats? where's the sheep?

[Caster13]

^Agreed. You can't have Australia/New Zealand and beastiality without having sheep in the equation.

[superplough]

WHY DO ALL MY COUNTRY MEN GIVE IT A BAD NAME
Seriously I should leave this country before all this rubs off on me.

[Mikosage]

Does that mean if I go to say, New York, next time, I can come back with a Bronx accent and say that I got raped by a rat?

Absolutely epic! :lol:

But man, you really have to watch those wombats. A couple of drinks and before you know it, you're huddled in a corner with your pants around your ankles, crying as it tosses you a towel and orders you to "clean yourself up".

[CrossboneGundam]

His punishment should be to actually be raped by a wombat.

First it's a wombat, and now it's pig-malion. I can foresee a FOX special about this: "When Animals Sexually Assault!" Live, from New Zealand.

D'oh! Now foxes are involved! Wombats and foxes and pigs! Oh, my!

There was a guy in Washington state who died of a perforated colon after having sexual relations with a horse a couple of years back.

[Nakey]

^Agreed. You can't have Australia/New Zealand and beastiality without having sheep in the equation.

What's this Australia and Sheep business? we leave the sheep loving to them all blacks

:P >.>;

*hides from the New Zealanders*

WHY DO ALL MY COUNTRY MEN GIVE IT A BAD NAME
Seriously I should leave this country before all this rubs off on me.

Come over here. All the Good New Zealanders do =3

Not that it matters, you're like the 7th state of Australia anyway :D

*runs and hides*

[Caster13]

There was a guy in Washington state who died of a perforated colon after having sexual relations with a horse a couple of years back.

I REALLY didn't want to know that. Actually I'm pretty sure none of us wanted to.

[Trefellin]

I REALLY didn't want to know that. Actually I'm pretty sure none of us wanted to.

I'm glad that I know that now because it's good to learn from other peoples mistakes. :thumbsup:

[superplough]

^ Yeah, just in case we were, you know, considering having 'sexual relations with a horse'...

In b4 "New Zealander probably already has"

[Trefellin]

^ Yeah, just in case we were, you know, considering having 'sexual relations with a horse'...

Well, I might want to travel one day and that "when in Rome" thing scares me a little. :(

[goddessofanime]

All of this reminds me of the old urban legend about the woman who had her dog lick peanut butter off her naked while her friends came by.

So, if one gets a German accent, does that mean they were raped by a German Shepard?