I'm new...but some advice???

[wolf_of_twilite]

So...I recently got married. And yes, I'm young, in college, in a sorority, and I have so much that can change, others couldn't dream of getting married this young. I've heard it all before, but that's not what I want advice about.

My mother-in-law is very....obsessive. She was poor as a kid, and thus she worries about how my husband and I, and my brother-in-law and his wife spend money. She's constantly telling me my sorority is an un-needed activity and it needs to go. I hear it every time my husband and I visit, but it's getting better.

But lately as we spend money, we get yelled at for being stupid. My brother-in-law and his wife go out the next day and buy the same thing and never hear a thing about it, even though they spend random money on new furniture, tv's, beds, and got a 2 bedroom apt for a married couple when they have a little trouble making rent on a 1 bedroom.

On top of this, my brother-in-law and his wife CONSTANTLY tell my mother-in-law everything about us so that we get in trouble, and they won't when they do something she will think is outrageous. I quit my job and she heard about it before I told her. She yells at me for not telling her because I didn't have a chance. Now she hears about my husband coming home sick from work and yells at him. We wanted to go to a movie before Easter dinner, and we heard about it before we even got home.

Even worse, now they're calling me telling me when they think I need to remove things that I have posted on my myspace blog. I just don't know what to do about this whole situation. It's driving me CRAZY! So I was hoping that someone on the outside could give me some adivce.

[Suki]

HI! You must be new here!

Welcome to AN, PM me or any mod if you need any help navigating the forums.

[animeotaku99]

Call Jerry Springer and don't spend all your money on anime, if you are a troll get back to your bridge, if you area an actual new memebr walcome to the club this forum is a lot of fun

[wolf_of_twilite]

lmao. That was funny. I don't know what she'd do if I told her about my anime addiction. Last time I brought home an FMA dvd, she told me it was $30 from my college money that I wasted.

[Old Ape Face]

lmao. That was funny. I don't know what she'd do if I told her about my anime addiction. Last time I brought home an FMA dvd, she told me it was $30 from my college money that I wasted.

Tell her it's your insurance policy, if you suddenly go broke tell her you can always sell.

[goddessofanime]

First of all, welcome. And Congrats on the marriage.

As for advice, your hubby needs to tell your mother in law to mind her business on what you guys buy in your spare time.

[wolf_of_twilite]

I will try that...hopefully it doesn't result in a family brawl. But what should I do about the constant tattle-taleing of every little detail by my brother-in-law and his wife?

And yes...If I go broke, I really can sell my stuff on craigslist. lol.:P

[Leader Desslock]

If your brother in law and his wife keep throwing you under the bus to avoid scrutiny from your mother in law, then I'd simply stop telling them anything. If they ask why, tell them. "Well, it seems that every time I tell you something, I catch seven shades of Hell from Momzilla the next day, so until you learn a little word called 'discretion', you're off the 'need to know' list."

As for handling your mother in law... eh. It'd be nice if your husband could do that, but in the event he's not willing to stand up for you, you're within your rights to stand up for yourself.

[Holy Knight]

Looks like she's looking for assurance and is unfortunately taking it out on you. You just need to tell her firmly that she doesn't need to worry about your finances and that while you appreciate that she does worry for you and you husband's welfare, you can take care of yourselves.

Basically, show you have the confidence to be your own person while being respectful of how she feels. Once she trusts you, things should start going your way and your brother in law will be getting the flak.

On that, welcome to AN.

[Mikosage]

Heya. Welcome to AN. Hope you have fun here and all that jazz.

As for your monster-in-law problems, I'd tell everyone in the family to mind thier own. It's YOUR business, not thiers. Tell her you can appreciate her concerns, but you have it under control and you don't care to be told how to run your own family.

You gotta be upfront with people to get anywhere these days...

[Shiroiyuki]

You've already done the hard part (gotten married), now that you are actually part of the family – you can very well treat your in-laws as...well...family. In other words...don't shy away from expressing your discomfort when things bother you. It’s within your right to live comfortably around them!

Think about how you would react to your OWN mother telling you what to do with your money. Or your father. Do you live with them? No? Do they pay your rent? No? Do they have any right to dictate what you use your money on? No?

Would you make it a point to tell this to your own parents if they were doing the same thing as your mother-in-law? Yes? I know I would. I would make it transparently clear they needed to shove off (or no grandkids).

Why does being an in-law make a difference? Tell the old woman exactly how you feel. Or, better yet, make it your personally mission to mirror her terror. Tell her what to spend HER money on. Try dictating her life, her schedule, her every move.....I doubt she'd like it very much at all.

Maybe she'd get the hint.

Like I said before, you've already done the hard part; you've gotten married. Now that you have that ring on your finger, you don't very well have to worry about making the 'right impression' with his family. You ARE family. Treat them as such.

Be the ***** if need be *nods*.

[Tuna]

She should butt out about the spending, unless it's her money...she's not the one supplying you with this "college money", is she?
O.o

Welcome!
^_^

[anime____4ever]

As for advice, your hubby needs to tell your mother in law to mind her business on what you guys buy in your spare time.

i pretty much agree with this.

it's your husbands job to keep HIS in-laws in line. if your mother-in-law and brother-in-law+wife are stressing you out and giving you greif........then your husband needs to lay down the law.

on a side note, if your family ever causes trouble, then its your job to correct that.

[Kyuu Dan]

Hello, and welcome to AN.

As for your problem.. I can't really help. Sorry. >_<

Except... tell her to back off?

[Haro!]

I could have sworn I wrote a response to this but apparently I didnt.
My advice to you: Don't get married. Wait you already got married. That's already one big mistake. (Disclaimer: if the famed "Terminal Girl", as dothacker5 would refer to her, wanted to get married I totally would). I guess the best advice I can give is to just do as you please anyway. As a matter of fact, buy yourself some Prada shoes and wear them whenever she comes over.

[wolf_of_twilite]

Thank you all so much! My husband and I feel much better about this now. We've decided that any future kids we have will be sent to my monster-in-law as a punishment.

It's just weird because she's the only one who's ever given me any grief from his family, and my parents could care less what I do.

So yay! Happy joy joy!:) All will be well.

[The Million Dollar Prons]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Throw_Momma_from_the_Train

[Shiroiyuki]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Throw_Momma_from_the_Train

That was a great movie :lol: