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Bernard_Monsha
November 13th, 2007, 09:50 AM
Look at India. The first line made me LOL.


Monkeys rampage in Indian capital (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=071113065725.yech1gw9&show_article=1)

Nov 13 03:00 AM US/Eastern

Just weeks after the Indian capital's deputy mayor toppled to his death fighting off a pack of monkeys, the animals are back on the attack, sparking fresh concerns about the simian menace.

One woman was seriously hurt and two dozen other people were given first aid after monkeys rampaged through a neighbourhood in east Delhi over the weekend.

"There were about three or four monkeys involved," deputy police commissioner Jaspal Singh told AFP.

"Wildlife officials are trying to find them. As police we're not experts in dealing with monkeys. We can deal with mad bulls but monkeys are more difficult," he said.

Along with an estimated 35,000 sacred cows and buffaloes that roam free in the capital, marauding monkeys have been longstanding pests.

They routinely scamper through government offices, courts and even police stations and hospitals as well as terrorise neighbourhoods.

Trouble boiled over in late October when the city's deputy mayor, Sawinder Singh Bajwa, 52, fell to his death driving away monkeys from his home.

He was on his balcony reading a newspaper when four monkeys appeared, his family said. As he waved a stick to scare them away, he tumbled over the edge and died in hospital from head injuries.

In the latest incident in Delhi's low-income Shastri Park area, residents reported the monkeys appeared late Saturday and rampaged for hours.


"I was talking to someone at my door at around 11 pm when a monkey appeared," Naseema, who goes by one name, told the Times of India. "As I moved inside, the monkey followed and sank its teeth in my baby's leg."

Six more bites were reported Monday in Shastri Park, while in an upscale neighbourhood in central Delhi, a rogue monkey bounded into the residence of Priyanka Gandhi, daughter of ruling Congress party chief Sonia Gandhi, The Indian Express said.

Animal control officers were deployed to chase the beasts away.

Estimates of Delhi's monkey population range from 10,000 to over 20,000.

In 2001 residential districts petitioned courts to make Delhi "monkey-free" and last May, federal lawmakers demanded protection.

But there has been little visible progress.

"We're trying to catch them but the difficulties are a shortage of monkey catchers. We're not able to take full action at full speed," A.K. Singh, a senior municipal official, said.

Delhi has a 10-million-rupee (253,000 dollar) budget to capture the common rhesus macaques which are handed over to a shelter in a disused mine area on the outskirts.


Neighbouring states have refused to release the macaques into their forests because they say the "urban monkeys" terrorise the local monkeys and swipe food from villages.

Animal control officials often use langurs, which are bigger and fiercer monkeys, to scare away the smaller macaques or drive them into cages.

Efforts to drive out the animals is complicated by the fact that devout Hindus view them as an incarnation of Hanuman, the monkey god who symbolises strength. Killing them is unacceptable.

Delhi's mayor has admitted authorities are fighting a losing battle.

"We've neither the expertise nor the infrastructure," said Mayor Aarti Mehra.

Once caught, "we're under pressure to release ... from animal activists and from people due to religious reasons."

Kartick Satyanarayanan, head of India's Wildlife SOS, said the invasion of natural habitats by mushrooming populations was at the root of the problem.

"Humans are taking all their space."

MaliceDR
November 13th, 2007, 11:24 AM
It is time for bribery.

http://chidiet.com/images3/banana1.jpg

Victory
November 13th, 2007, 12:16 PM
Just weeks after the Indian capital's deputy mayor toppled to his death fighting off a pack of monkeysI didn't know Charlton Heston had an Indian nephew...

Bernard_Monsha
November 13th, 2007, 12:26 PM
I keep picturing a Bollywood takeoff on Hitchcock with the deputy mayor being chased up a clock tower and assaulted by stuffed monkeys on sticks. Then at the pinnacle he puts his arms over his face and fallls off. Sort of Vertigo meets the Birds directed by Ed Wood.

Illusions-chan
November 13th, 2007, 04:21 PM
Damn I love my country... :lol:

But it really is a problem. You have to look at this through their perspective. The bites from the monkeys may be rabid, the monkeys are stealing crops and contributing the crime rate, and if any do die, the government will have a religious uprising on their hands. Frankly, it's hard place for the government to be. They try to control, but without numbers, they can't, and they can't even mention killing because the public would eat them alive. Frankly, it's the same situation they face with cows. They're stuck and they have to find a way to balance religion with policy because it's really beginning to hold them back.

Bernard_Monsha
November 19th, 2007, 09:36 AM
Vive la révolution !

More than 365,000 converts a year!

GUWAHATI, India (AFP) - Troupes of monkeys are out of control in India's northeast, stealing mobile phones and breaking into homes to steal soft drinks from refrigerators, lawmakers in the region have complained.

"Monkeys are wreaking havoc in my constituency by taking away mobile phones, toothpastes, sipping coke after opening the refrigerators," Hiren Das told Assam state's assembly.

He said the primates were "even slapping women who try to chase them".

"It is a cause of serious concern in my area, with more than 1,000 such simians turning aggressive by the day," fumed Goneswar Das, another legislator representing Raha in eastern Assam.

Assam's wildlife minister, Rockybul Hussain, said the state government has formed a panel to study the problem.

Because of shrinking forest cover, monkeys have increasingly moved into cities elsewhere in India as well.

Last week, around two dozen people were hurt after monkeys rampaged through a New Delhi neighbourhood.

Last month, the deputy mayor of Delhi died when he fell from his balcony after being attacked by monkeys.

Efforts to drive out the animals is complicated by the fact that devout Hindus view them as an incarnation of Hanuman, the monkey god who symbolises strength.

Old Ape Face
November 19th, 2007, 09:49 AM
Monkeys will indefinitely be the next thing to wipe out the dinosaurs.

GreatNekoKoneko
November 19th, 2007, 10:32 AM
...somehow, a Charlton Heston look-alike in India is screaming to the top of huis lungs:

DAMN YOU!

Bernard_Monsha
November 19th, 2007, 10:57 AM
...somehow, a Charlton Heston look-alike in India is screaming to the top of huis lungs:

DAMN YOU!

Damned Dr. Zais is behind it all!

Trefellin
November 19th, 2007, 03:37 PM
I'm really glad that's not something I have to deal with. They could deport the monkeys or use them against Pakistan.

GreatNekoKoneko
November 19th, 2007, 04:01 PM
...at least they didn't taze the monkeys.

Bernard_Monsha
November 19th, 2007, 04:12 PM
...at least they didn't taze the monkeys.


That is because they don't have tazers in India.


I wonder how many manhours tech support centers have lost due to gangs of delinquent monkeys robbing employees.

GreatNekoKoneko
November 19th, 2007, 04:37 PM
That is because they don't have tazers in India.


I wonder how many manhours tech support centers have lost due to gangs of delinquent monkeys robbing employees.

...damn. now i can't call customer support to order me some Tandoori Bites...

guyverfanboy
November 19th, 2007, 05:44 PM
Damn I love my country... :lol:

But it really is a problem. You have to look at this through their perspective. The bites from the monkeys may be rabid, the monkeys are stealing crops and contributing the crime rate, and if any do die, the government will have a religious uprising on their hands. Frankly, it's hard place for the government to be. They try to control, but without numbers, they can't, and they can't even mention killing because the public would eat them alive. Frankly, it's the same situation they face with cows. They're stuck and they have to find a way to balance religion with policy because it's really beginning to hold them back.

Why can't they shoot the monkeys?