An odd thought related to a recent tragic event

[Haro!]

So Thursday night there was a fire in which 2 students at Rochester Institute of Technology died. One of those students happened to be a friend of a friend of mine. And well okay they were seeing each other from what I gather and well... I am completely and totally in love with that girl. Have been for years now. And I don't know but for some odd reason this whole thing just seems awkward to me. I mean clearly this was a tragedy but really the only reason I think I'm sad is because she is sad. I want to comfort her but that just seems dishonest on my part, like a conflict of interest or something.

I know this is a selfish view on this event on my part, but I feel I had to just let it out somewhere. I've been in a fetal position for the past few hours, and yeah I'm just not sure what to think of this all. Anyone's thoughts are welcome on this matter.

[GreatNekoKoneko]

...damnit Haro. are you using tragedy to get the girl?

lemme know if it works.

[Haro!]

...damnit Haro. are you using tragedy to get the girl?

lemme know if it works.
I really don't want to. And I really don't want it to happen accidentally that way at all. Besides the girl is very much out of my league so the latter is pretty much out of the question.

Anyway does this seem f'ed up to anyone at all?

[Caster13]

if i was to comment on this Haro, i would be banned as soon as i put it on the thread. what i would say to you would be the last thing anyone would see of me.

let me put it this way: you are as low as a terrorist.

[Lord Timaeus]

Actually, I originally thought Haro fell in love with the friend who died. -_-;

Anyway, just wait it out. Trying to win a chick on the rebound just doesn't cut it.

[Haro!]

See that's the thing I DON"T want to pick her up on the rebound. I want to comfort without seeming to want to pick up.

[Vaikyuko]

@Kenpachi: *headdesk* No, he isn't. Sorry, but pledging to kill hundreds of innocent people versus a minor moral dilemma over a female is not equal.

Haro, it's not that bad. Comfort her, but do not make any romantic advances on her until the memories of the accident are well passed. This means you might as well give up, since that'll be a damn long time.

[Chousho]

So Thursday night there was a fire in which 2 students at Rochester Institute of Technology died. One of those students happened to be a friend of a friend of mine. And well okay they were seeing each other from what I gather and well... I am completely and totally in love with that girl. Have been for years now. And I don't know but for some odd reason this whole thing just seems awkward to me. I mean clearly this was a tragedy but really the only reason I think I'm sad is because she is sad. I want to comfort her but that just seems dishonest on my part, like a conflict of interest or something.

I know this is a selfish view on this event on my part, but I feel I had to just let it out somewhere. I've been in a fetal position for the past few hours, and yeah I'm just not sure what to think of this all. Anyone's thoughts are welcome on this matter.
WHOA, I never even heard about anything up at RIT. I'm so sorry to hear that, man.
However, if you love the girl, and I mean really love her, just be there for her. She needs someone to be her shoulder to cry on, someone she can talk to about this. If you really love her, just be there for her. Anything that happens beyond that is natural, but in the meantime just be someone who she can rely on.

[GreatNekoKoneko]

See that's the thing I DON"T want to pick her up on the rebound. I want to comfort without seeming to want to pick up.

...oh. for a moment there, i thought you were gonna pull a "haro!" on her.

my bad. just go for it, dude.

just as long as you don't sak her out on a date afterwards. keep it clean and civil.

remember, you're only there to comfort her. not to (fill in the blanks) her.

[Caster13]

this thread is beyond pathetic and needs to be moved to 4chan.

[Haro!]

**** I just the thing I knew was the case but didn't want to hear Treize... damn long time... argh. I mean its just that really I had been wanting to just let my feelings out the sooner the better and now that seems like an inappropriate thing to do regardless of how genuine these feelings are. And will be inappropriate for some time apparently. I'm patient but at the same time I feel I can't waste any more time...


EDIT: am I the only one that thinks Kenpachi has this thing completely wrong?!
Oh and Cho, it was off-campus so it probably didnt make much of the news outlets

[Animematt55]

Just be there for her. Take her out for a drink or two, maybe a nice dinner.
Maybe get some Aqua Dots?
kidding....
Girls are tough to understand. Try to be a friend and stuff.

[Holy Knight]

this thread is beyond pathetic and needs to be moved to 4chan.

All I see is a guy who needs advice in which anyone would be quite confused if he or she was in his shoes.

Yeah, the very best would be to stave off on the advances and be there for her. The idea of "profit" is tantalizing because of the suddenness of the situation, but don't let it get in the way. Just focus on helping her in the first place.

If things develop afterwards, then that's a bonus, not mandatory, and you get to keep a clean conscience.

[goddessofanime]

*hugs Haro* I'm so sorry to hear about that, hon. My condolences.

I pretty much agree with Treize; let her have time to grieve and if you still feel the same about her, then talk to her.

[Caster13]

[QUOTE=Animematt55;6251227]Maybe get some Aqua Dots?QUOTE]

:lol: sick, but awesome.

[goddessofanime]

this thread is beyond pathetic and needs to be moved to 4chan.


Oh Kenny......that's so mean. For real.

[Caster13]

not to spam, but your asking for dating advice on an anime forum. trust me, ask other people.

[Haro!]

I'm not asking for dating advice. I'm pretty sure I'm not asking "hey her friend just died: should we go for japanese or italian?"

[Chousho]

not to spam, but your asking for dating advice on an anime forum. trust me, ask other people.
He's not asking for dating advice at all. The girl he loves just lost her boyfriend and he wants to be there for her without taking advantage of the tragic situation.

[Caster13]

i thought he was going to maybe take advantage. i misunderstood. sorry.

[Vaikyuko]

Don't pay any mind to Kenpachi, he tends to see one word in a topic and ramble about things that have nothing to do with the topic, or take things completely out of context, or come up with utterly nonsensical premises. Harsh, I know; sorry, 'pachi.

That said, Haro, just be there for her. That's all.

[Chousho]

japanese or italian?
Italian. Definitely.

You pay the bill though.

Oh wait, you weren't asking me? WTF?

[Caster13]

i like Italian women better. their bodies have more curves. unfortunately, European women have the bad habit of not shaving.:x

[Haro!]

Oh I always pay the bill Cho ^_^

Somehow Kenpachi made me feel better. That after hours of my own sulking. Thanks.

[Caster13]

thats the good thing about Asian women though. not a lot of hair.

[Chousho]

i like Italian women better. their bodies have more curves. unfortunately, European women have the bad habit of not shaving.:x
To quote this one guy who posts on here:
Carribean... (Ladies!) Parisian... (Ladies!) Namibian... (Ladies!) Republic of Dominican (Ladies!) Amphibian! (Ladies!)
It doesn't matter if they're Japanese, Italian or Eskimo, if they're awesome they're awesome ;D Of course, if they can COOK Italian, hmmmm...

mmmm....


uhhh... move along, I'm doing something here.

Oh I always pay the bill ^_^
Who leaves the tip?

[Haro!]

thats the good thing about Asian women though. not a lot of hair.

No I was referring to your misunderstanding of the thread being funny.

On topic: Okay so the last thing I said to this girl was something along the lines of "if you need anything give me a call" but that just seems too generic to me. It just seemed like a half-assed thing to say (this ofcourse only said to avoid what the topic is about in the first place). Thoughts?

[Caster13]

its a bad idea to pay the tip if the waitress is cute, that could screw up your date.

[GreatNekoKoneko]

...geez, Kenpachi. i thought you hated Jersey Girls - which is the closest thing to an italian woman you'll ever get...

[Haro!]

its a bad idea to pay the tip if the waitress is cute, that could screw up your date.
Dude I wouldn't notice cute waitresses with the girl in question. yeah dude I got it bad...

...geez, Kenpachi. i thought you hated Jersey Girls - which is the closest thing to an italian woman you'll ever get...
Jersey girls are good for flings. They lack refined taste though.

[Caster13]

whoa whoa whoa, when the hell did i say that i hated Jersey Girls?! i just dont like a bunch of the ones that are around me. white trash galore. nothing says white trash like an advertisement for belly dancing lessons on a piece of cardboard stapled to a telephone pole.

i swear to God i kid you not.

[The Million Dollar Prons]

Your dead friend would want you to hit it.

[Haro!]

I don't know the guy though. And dammit why am I even commenting on your response Prons

[Chousho]

No I was referring to your misunderstanding of the thread being funny.

On topic: Okay so the last thing I said to this girl was something along the lines of "if you need anything give me a call" but that just seems too generic to me. It just seemed like a half-assed thing to say (this ofcourse only said to avoid what the topic is about in the first place). Thoughts?

Well, for starters: "if you need anything, give me a call".
You know she'll need someone to talk to, and she's the one grieving, she shouldn't be making the call, you should.

Tell her straight up, "I care about you (don't go too far with that, but at least let her know you do) and want to make sure you'll be alright. I'm here for you whenever you need to talk or anything else." No, "anything else" is not sexual, it's that you'll go above and beyond for her (this is to those of you who might take it the wrong way, not necessarily Haro!).

[Haro!]

Cho (wow helpful, I mean I hate you!): I knew for a fact it was the wrong thing to say. It was very, I was off guard and yeah its bad enough I mess up when I'm on guard. Damn but thats, I dont know at this point it'd be like I'm being too forward. Or I'm just being overly cautious maybe...

[Holy Knight]

Cho (wow helpful, I mean I hate you!): I knew for a fact it was the wrong thing to say. It was very, I was off guard and yeah its bad enough I mess up when I'm on guard. Damn but thats, I dont know at this point it'd be like I'm being too forward. Or I'm just being overly cautious maybe...

Just call her again and say what Chousho said you should have said. Affirm that you were quite shocked and it contributed to the brevity of your previous response, so you were worried she'd take it the wrong way and you wanted to be clear that you're there for her. That should be fine.

[Chousho]

How good of a friend are you with her (before and now)? I know how good of a friend you want to be with her, but what was and is your current status? If you two can spend hours at a time talking with each other and you both know each other quite well, then I would assume she'd know that you're honestly trying to be there for her, not just trying to say some line to take advantage of her.

While you don't want to bombard her with how you really feel (yet), you have to be honest about what you say. Don't try to play off anything that's said or done, just let her know that you'll be there for her no matter what. Eventually, once she figures out that you really, truly care for her, and sees that you really will go above and beyond for her -- helping her in whatever situation and just being there for her, hopefully she'll return the same love to you. One can only hope, right?

[The Million Dollar Prons]

I don't know the guy though. And dammit why am I even commenting on your response Prons

When I die, TONIGHT, I'd want someone to get some in my memory. you know what you must do.

[Caster13]

dont die Prons.

[The Million Dollar Prons]

dont die Prons.


I'm not planning too! *Tears off shirt* THESE PECTORAL MUSCLES CAN REFLECT ANY PUNCH KNIFE OR BULLET

[Caster13]

ok Major Armstrong.:lol:

[GreatNekoKoneko]

I'm not planning too! *Tears off shirt* THESE PECTORAL MUSCLES CAN REFLECT ANY PUNCH KNIFE OR BULLET

...you wa shock.

[The Million Dollar Prons]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stretch_Armstrong This thread is now about Stretch Armstrong. http://youtube.com/watch?v=0lw17Pb7Nso YES

[germanturkey]

what? this happened at RIT? 3 of my friends go there..

i'm thinking Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien right now, except the 3rd party won't come back..

but anyways, comfort first, and if something happens, so be it. you tried to be a friend first and thats all that matters.

just don't let her go Cho Chang on your Harry Potter...