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Suki
June 13th, 2007, 02:06 PM
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. – A night originally designated Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night turned deadly when the WWE Chairman’s limousine burst into a fiery explosion just moments after Mr. McMahon stepped into it. Permanently uprooting the world of sports-entertainment, the Chairman has been presumed dead in Wilkes-Barre, Pa.

Local authorities stated it was still too early to declare anything as fact, including exactly what caused the explosion, but they described the blast as an apparent “car bombing.” They also revealed that as of 11:30 p.m. EST, no body had been recovered from the incinerated wreckage.

Firefighters were quick to assess the scene, taping off sections of the parking lot to protect scores of onlookers – mostly our fans – from potential injury. Despite the intense heat and ubiquitous clouds of black smoke, countless people spilled out of the arena to get a closer look at the chaos they had just seen happen live on the TitanTron.

“By the time we arrived on the scene, the entire automobile was on fire,” explained a Wilkes-Barre firefighter on the scene. “It was like an inferno, and our guys were doing whatever they could to contain it as quickly as possible. In my 27 years with the fire department, I’ve never seen anything like that.”

The emblazoned limousine was engulfed by flames that reached skyward at estimated heights of more than 50 feet. The sight of the charred debris led to speculation that there was no conceivable way anyone could have escaped from the limo alive. Early assessments from local firefighters and police officers sent a similar feeling regarding the probability of the Chairman’s survival.

“We’re doing our best to respect the McMahon family and the fans of WWE,” the firefighter said. “However, with that said, we have not found anything – there hasn’t been confirmation that Mr. McMahon’s body was extracted from the limo.”

As the physical body of Mr. McMahon remains to be uncovered, perhaps the most perplexing piece to this puzzle is the Chairman’s uncanny, almost clairvoyant premonition of tonight’s grim events. Over the last few weeks on WWE programming, the swaggering, well-off billionaire seemed to unravel right before the eyes of millions. Speaking of a threatening presence that lurked in his foreseeable future, Mr. McMahon even cited the looming of a “black cloud” last week – a cloud very similar to the post-combustive smoke that billowed above his limousine tonight.

Was this evening an eerie prophecy fulfilled for Mr. McMahon, given his recent premonitions? Or was it simply a fateful execution of coincidence? The ominous reality is that what was brushed off as incoherent ramblings of a broken man and former ECW World Champion actually may have proven to be an exercising of a recently discovered sixth sense.

Sources say given the nature of the apparent car bombing, federal authorities may be called in for a more thorough investigation that would supersede local Pennsylvania authorities.

Check back with WWE.com as we continue to follow developments in the most shocking incident in sports-entertainment history.

What the hell?

Brutist
June 13th, 2007, 02:12 PM
Fake.
(filler)

tenshi_a
June 13th, 2007, 02:13 PM
Ooh, theatricals. Overdramatic. No wrestling. Same WWE, different day.

LadyNepenthe
June 13th, 2007, 02:17 PM
either verrrrry over-dramatic....or DAAAAAYYYYUUUUUMMMMM!!

master terrence
June 13th, 2007, 02:18 PM
talk about lame acting....

wiki doesn't say he died, so he's alive :P

Jabberwock
June 13th, 2007, 02:38 PM
It's amazing how much they're trying to push for this to be reality.

I like the WWE, but this was just another poor rip from cheesy soap operas.

I'd much rather have had the chairman kidnapped and placed in a tank full of sharks with the only chance of escape being a bottle of shark repellent in the corner of the room.

master terrence
June 13th, 2007, 02:40 PM
It's amazing how much they're trying to push for this to be reality.

I like the WWE, but this was just another poor rip from cheesy soap operas.

I'd much rather have had the chairman kidnapped and placed in a tank full of sharks with the only chance of escape being a bottle of shark repellent in the corner of the room.

I'm not insulting your taste of television, but I never understood why there are WWE fans. Why do you watch it? for cheap wrestling? or the acting? I don't get it.

Jabberwock
June 13th, 2007, 02:53 PM
Haha, no insult at all! It's a guilty pleasure of mine and I can understand why you would question how anyone could watch the WWE.

I'm not so much a WWE fan as much as I am a born-again Raw fan. The reason for my viewing sponsorship, though, is a mix of my curiosity of athleticism, showmanship, mass hysteria, and selling power of sex and violence.

Even with the inherent tape delay that comes in any kind of live broadcasting, Raw is live and that makes it a very challenging task for EVERYONE on the crew. Smackdown! and other shows the WWE offers have the safety of video editing at least if absolutely necessary. This gets my respect both for the performers as well as the broadcasting crew that has to be ever-vigilant during the show.

Also, Raw is a weekly event. That shows in different arenas nationwide. With different routines (though pretty standard fare for most of the veterans) of acrobatics and athleticism.

If you ask me, the WWE has replaced the circus in America, which makes me a little sad on the inside. These people are performers who put their bodies on the line performing feats that require a lot of practice and choreography. Now, I'd never say that WWE wrestlers have the same capacity of skill and dedication of Olympian quality gymnastics shown in Cirque du Soleil, but many of them do their jobs well.

Apologies for the length, but I guess I am a fan. ^^;;

Leader Desslock
June 13th, 2007, 02:58 PM
I'm just curious - has anyone actually seen this reported by a credible news source? Or was this just posted on the WWE website?

If the latter, then... that's its own explanation, isn't it? I mean, did you really even need to think about it?

I mean, in 27 years on the fire department he's never seen anything as bad as a burning car? Does that even sound like a real quote? Remotely? It's just a burning car. If that's the worst he's seen, then I have to imagine he spent the previous 26 years at the stationhouse, polishing the engines.

CrossboneGundam
June 13th, 2007, 03:05 PM
Wrestling needs to hire writers who can, you know.... write. Of course, something tells me there are no real writers.

D the Hunter
June 13th, 2007, 03:05 PM
What a dumbass thing to advertise as a storyline. Normally I'd say "Isn't there some law against this sorta stuff." but being that its these asshats, theres no need, when will they realize their product hasn't been enetertaining for 10 years and just give it up. I mean I'm sure that old coot isn't hurting for pocket change these days.

tenshi_a
June 13th, 2007, 03:13 PM
Wrestling needs to hire writers who can, you know.... write. Of course, something tells me there are no real writers.

Oh but that would be admitting it's fiction :lol:

CrossboneGundam
June 13th, 2007, 03:15 PM
Oh but that would be admitting it's fiction :lol:

Well, they don't HAVE to let the public know there are writers. It's not like the target audience would have the presence of mind to investigate the matter, anyway.

Westlo
June 13th, 2007, 03:17 PM
Why are we talking about this when the real talking point it that King Book-AH!! is coming to Monday Night Raw?

All Hail King Booker!
All Hail King Booker!
All Hail King Booker!
All Hail King Booker!
All Hail King Booker!

Jabberwock
June 13th, 2007, 03:18 PM
What a dumbass thing to advertise as a storyline. Normally I'd say "Isn't there some law against this sorta stuff." but being that its these asshats, theres no need, when will they realize their product hasn't been enetertaining for 10 years and just give it up. I mean I'm sure that old coot isn't hurting for pocket change these days.
That's just it, though. Viewership is actually up.

Blame the Jackass culture that's engulfed American sanity.

As for writers, I'm sure they don't exist.

Sendo Takeshi
June 13th, 2007, 03:33 PM
Yeah, this happened on Monday night. It's all a part of the storyline.

Bernard_Monsha
June 13th, 2007, 03:49 PM
Was he sweating and screaming loudly before he opened the car door and was blowed up?

Sendo Takeshi
June 13th, 2007, 04:17 PM
Was he sweating and screaming loudly before he opened the car door and was blowed up?


Nope. He just walked out all calm and nonchalantly. It was pretty weird. Dunno what exactly they're setting up in terms of storyline, though. I don't keep up with wrestling as much as I used to. =/

Nigokio
June 13th, 2007, 05:08 PM
I saw it, looked at my brother, then laughed my head off. C'mon vince does losing the "ECW" championship mean so much that you'd "blow up your car" and "die"?

goddessofanime
June 13th, 2007, 05:26 PM
Don't follow the WWE but even a non fan like me can see that it's fake.

If it wasn't, then not only the news organizations would be all over this but so would the entertainment shows as well. And they didn't mention anything on E.

master terrence
June 13th, 2007, 07:21 PM
WWE is on every night before TUF5 (I'm a bit annoyed by that). I find it boring, the acting is terrible, you can tell there are writers, you can tell who uses steroids, and they are athletic... but I find the fighting slow, boring, and uneventful (every match almost looks the same). They are quiet the performers though, I acknowledge that. They fooled me when I was younger.

Ikari Warrior
June 13th, 2007, 07:43 PM
you can tell there are writers...

Yeah, lousy ones. Vince has a propensity for firing the brilliant writers that (god forbid) want to do something new.