...Your Own Laws

[GreatNekoKoneko]

... and no, i do not mean Murphy's or Prons' Law of Copulation (i just made that up). i meant the little rules that we follow from day to day thats not exactly of the norm or written in any book. or at least we think so.

an example: The Law of the Nacho Singularity.

When two or more nacho chips are joined together by a binding agent i.e. melted Nacho cheese, they are considered as ONE CHIP. So when taking ONE CHIP from the basket, no matter how many chips are stuck together by the cheese, it is still considered ONE CHIP. and no, you're not hogging at all. eat up. it's the law.

any other Laws out there?

p.s. im bored.

[Old Ape Face]

You mean the laws of OCD? oh i can't sleep unless my legs are stretched out on the bed, and the covers are all the way on.

[GreatNekoKoneko]

...i was thinking more on the lines of the Five Second/Minute Rule - you know, like when you drop something...

[tenshi_a]

Wait.... Prons' Law Of Copulation isn't actual law?

Oh my god, what have I done?

[Old Ape Face]

oh yeah like if you scratch my back I eat your pie.

[CrossboneGundam]

...i was thinking more on the lines of the Five Second/Minute Rule - you know, like when you drop something...

Except that's not a law, that's a dopey excuse to eat dirty food. :lol:

[VidelCoolGirl]

Wait.... Prons' Law Of Copulation isn't actual law?

Oh my god, what have I done?

QUICK! MODS! CLOSE THE THREAD QUICK!

[Old Ape Face]

Except that's not a law, that's a dopey excuse to eat dirty food. :lol:

no it's a lazy excuse to not mop up the floor.

[Spadesy]

Dusty's Law of Finishing Beverages Already Started:

If your friend makes ANY portion of your drink alcoholic (anywhere from one drop to half the container), you must consume all of it at least within a period of 30 minutes (an exception to this time limitation is if the beverage contains espiritis, so it can take up to an hour if you wish). It's only right. Don't be the inconsiderate sonuvabizatch who leaves half full beverages in numerous locations around the room, even though somebody will always try. It's a waste of perfectly good beverage and is a pain to clean up.

...What? It's in the Bible you turds, look it up!

[Rain]

I think that the quote "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn" should be made into law, or at least it should be recognized as a universal truth.

[MonkeyBoy0314]

Anti-Stupid Law of Boston: Police must take classes in order to tell the difference between a bomb and a ****ing lite-brite

Corollary 1: The Moon Rulez #1

[VidelCoolGirl]

"Black Women Cannot Have Blond Afros....EVER."

[MonkeyBoy0314]

"Black Women Cannot Have Blond Afros....EVER."

How would this apply to Austin Powers: Goldmember?

[VidelCoolGirl]

How would this apply to Austin Powers: Goldmember?

It DOES. It...JUST....DOES.

[Spadesy]

Corollary 1: It's cool if she's hot.

[KatayokuのTenshi]

I think that the quote "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn" should be made into law, or at least it should be recognized as a universal truth.


"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor Hell a Fury like a woman scorned" -William Congreve Usually 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.'

[Leader Desslock]

Hmmm... well, we just saw Godwin's Law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law) invoked to close a thread, but other than that... Hmmm...

Party Alcohol Rule - If you bring alcohol to a party where the hosts have provided alcohol for public consumption, then the alcohol you brought is forfeited to the public supply. You can't bring a bottle of the Good Stuff "just for yourself", even if you don't intend to imbibe any of the available offerings.

Exception: Each individual is allowed to bring up to one hip-flask of alcohol for personal consumption to a gathering, provided the flask is not mentioned publicly, and it is discreetly used during the gathering. The contents of the flask are then only subject to sharing if an onlooker witnesses the flask being used and asks for a hit.


Leader Desslock's First Rule Of Debate - Everyone makes sense from his own perspective. To win in any debate, you must first understand your opponent's perspective, then argue your own case from within that perspective. Merely reiterating your own side from your own perspective is akin to shouting at a wall.

[Spadesy]

But Desslock, you have to encourage the consumption rather than make restrictions on what the party-go'ers consume. Otherwise your law will fall just like Prohibition did in the 30's.

See all those shady looking people carrying soft drink bottles clearly mixed with Pepsi/Coke/whatever and alcohol for their own consumption? Those guys are bootleggers. Dirty dirty bootleggers.

[Old Ape Face]

Leader Desslock's First Rule Of Debate - Everyone makes sense from his own perspective. To win in any debate, you must first understand your opponent's perspective, then argue your own case from within that perspective. Merely reiterating your own side from your own perspective is akin to shouting at a wall.

Ay Ay, i shout at plenty of walls, but in resent times I've been hearing out what people say. I speak my opinion and then if i get the unintended response i change it slightly.

[Haro!]

Ho's before bros.

[GreatNekoKoneko]

Ho's before bros.

...tut tut. its BROS before HOS. i don't know where you got that kind of schooling, but its bros first. except if its a hot chick. then the rule would reverse. THAT is the law.

[VidelCoolGirl]

...tut tut. its BROS before HOS. i don't know where you got that kind of schooling, but its bros first. except if its a hot chick. then the rule would reverse. THAT is the law.

Absurd. You lose Videl points for that Neko.

[GreatNekoKoneko]

Absurd. You lose Videl points for that Neko.

...except when its Videl of course. Videl > hos > bros.

[VidelCoolGirl]

...except when its Videl of course. Videl > hos > bros.

Alright then....

[Bernard_Monsha]

Party Alcohol Rule - If you bring alcohol to a party where the hosts have provided alcohol for public consumption, then the alcohol you brought is forfeited to the public supply. You can't bring a bottle of the Good Stuff "just for yourself", even if you don't intend to imbibe any of the available offerings.

Exception: Each individual is allowed to bring up to one hip-flask of alcohol for personal consumption to a gathering, provided the flask is not mentioned publicly, and it is discreetly used during the gathering. The contents of the flask are then only subject to sharing if an onlooker witnesses the flask being used and asks for a hit.


That is a subtext of the Ogden Nash rule on Alcohol and the Opposite Sex:

Candy is dandy, but Liquor is quicker.


Tramp stamp + silver jewelry + more than your ears peirced = 10 (best bet) on Bernard's scale of Ho'ness.

[Rain]

Dusty's Law of Finishing Beverages Already Started...

...What? It's in the Bible you turds, look it up!

^_^ I agree!

Oh, and don't you mean it's in the bible for Alcoholics?

@Leader Desslock: Frenchie!

[GreatNekoKoneko]

...wait. there's a scale for Ho'ness?

[Bernard_Monsha]

...wait. there's a scale for Ho'ness?

Yes it is a reverse index on time relating to softning of another the scale of hardness.

One rule in any job is "You cannot fix stupid"

[CrossboneGundam]

...wait. there's a scale for Ho'ness?

You're not capable of discerning the looseness of a woman by sight?

[GreatNekoKoneko]

You're not capable of discerning the looseness of a woman by sight?

...uh, no. the hos around here have levelled up to decency.

though its true that you can't fix stupid - but they sure make up for it by f*cking.

[Old Ape Face]

It's ok to b a n00b once n a while until u become pro.

[Sendo Takeshi]

Hmmm......laws, eh? I'd have scrubs learn SF before they actually step out into the world of competition. Less crying and more winning.

[superplough]

superplough's law of attempting things:
1. try
2. try again
3. try some more
4. get extremely frustrated and hurl things at walls/people
5. read instructions

[Holy Knight]

These are some I live by:

1- Thou shalt not, in any circumstance whatsoever, assume.

2- Hope does not exist. Hope is a construct of the weak and idle.

3- There are no absolutes, only situational relativism.

4- In regards to law 1: Always be ready for all eventualities.

And lastly: Laws were made to be broken and adapted, as per human nature. They are therefore only transitory.

Law of duels: Thou shalt always wear a pink tie in a white suit. The gloves are to be black for a hated foe and white for unfortunate moments of duty against an honourable foe. The means of battle are to be either guns, swords or hand-to-hand combat. In a duel of Manly Honour, both participants must pound their chests in appropriate salute. In the case of a Friendly Spate, the contestants are to be doused in cold, glacial water to cool their ego before any harm be done. This Law is then to be applied to as many as are available, without regards to personal reputation or safety. Failure to do so results in loss of Honour to the follower of said law.

[Evil_Koala]

If 24 and Heroes comes on at the same time...like it always does. Watch 24 and tape Heroes.

[superplough]

laws of "spot a mini"
basic premise: if you see a mini, you say "spot a mini!" and punch anyone within reach
1. punch must be on the shoulder
2. the mini must be moving
3. you or anyone in your party must not be inside the mini
4. only one punch per mini (e.g. if someone punches you, you cannot use the same mini to punch them back)
5. it has to be a real mini (not on tv or anything)
6. no substituting of some other car (spot a honda! etc)
7. if you are punched, then you can not punch them back, no matter how hard they punched you, unless you spot another mini
8. failure to comply to these rules results in being punched

[Hara!]

The Law of Trans-Gender Ascension:

1. It is possible to be so manly that you are gay.
2. It is possible to be so gay that you are manly.

ex.

1. Freddie from Cromartie High is a character based off of Freddie Mercury from Queen. Freddie is so gay, he is manly.

2. Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist is so manly, he is gay.

Now to go out of topic...

3. Sephiroth from FFVII is so gay that the manliness he amasses trandsends it´s level and goes straight back to gay. In a way, he is the Super Saiyan 2 of Homosexuals.

[Alice Catherine]

Sibling Rule: If your siblings are psychotic maniacs, it is OK to throw $90 combat boots at them if they are in your room when you are talking to your (soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend.

[Caine]

Universal Law of Buffalo: Buffalo always loses. In the event that Buffalo is in a position where it might win something significant (such as a Superbowl) it shall lose. Furthermore, Buffalo shall lose in humiliating fashion (missing a last minute, potentially game winning, 42 yard field goal, losing in a blowout, losing in OT on a disputed score.) All Buffalonians shall be bitter about these losses.

Law of Blizzards: A blizzard must stisfy at least one of the following conditions: 1) Snow/ice in an unexpected place or time, such as Texas or in the middle of June 2) Snow in excess of 2 feet in a day. 3) Snow in excess of one foot in a day, accompanied by high winds 4) sustained (more than one hour) of white out conditions, which are defined as times when due to snow and wind, one cannot see more than fifteen feet. 5) continuous snow for more than a day. 6) snow accompanied by freezing temperatures and winds which cause significant damage

Alice, it is generally permissible to throw any nearby objects at one's siblings (all of whom are considered psychotic maniacs) any time they approach when one is talking to any of one's friends.

[Lord Timaeus]

Law of Star Wars Blasphemy

Han shoots first. Period. Any mention of Greedo shooting first can and will be applied to Godwin's Law.

[Sendo Takeshi]

Law of Star Wars Blasphemy

Han shoots first. Period. Any mention of Greedo shooting first can and will be applied to Godwin's Law.


*waves Greedo flag*

I would overthrow your government.

[Alice Catherine]

Laws of Pokemon:

Law of paralysis: When enemy is paralyzed, it always hits. Mind you, it will still always get the first hit even though speed has been cut by 75%. When your Pokemon is paralyzed, however, it will remain fully paralyzed.
Laws of Sleep: When enemy is asleep, if you try to pull a Nightmare, it will either wake up before you can pull the Nightmare or wake up the turn after, without taking effect. Your Pokemon, however, will always stay asleep.
Law of Confusion: When enemy is confused, it will NEVER hit itself, even if he didn't use a Bitter Berry/Full Heal/Full Restore. Or it will be unconfused the next turn. When you are confused, you will ALWAYS hit yourself and since there's like one freakin Bitter Berry in the entire GAME...you will be confused until the end of the battle or until you have to switch and eat a hit.
Law of Poison: You won't make it to the Pokemon center. You don't have an antidote. There are a billion wild Pokemon before you get to the next town.

[Defiled one]

Ehm...:shifty:

Law number 1: All women must, I repeat, must be beutifull as Goddess or Demoness etc....

Law number 2: All atractive females!!! Must wear miniskirts!!

Law number 3: women must not be taller, stronger and outnumber men in a country!!! :mad: Very important law by the way.

Law number 4: Women must not visualise men as object of desire!!! nor try to molest them, nor pinching, nor raping, nor drugging and definatly not claiming them as mere toys!! :mad: same thing aplies to men...You never know.

Law number 5: NO ARRANGED MARRIAGES!! WE`RE IN THE 21 CENTURY DAMM IT!!

Law number 6: Dont be an hypocrate. If you didn`t like a person when it was younger, why do you think that person would want you back?

Law number 7: Homosexual marriages are legal, so as adoption to these couples.:huggles: They do a better job raising kids than some parents I know

Law number 8: You shall build a shrine to Prons!!! and read is book...Kamasutra del Japon.. The "Animated Prons style" for the record.

Law number 9: Nah...I think the age of consent is fine the way it is in my country..

Law number 10: If you wish to live happily, treat the others happily...


And these are the 10 commandments of Defiled one Moises!!! written in stone by the almighty Prons...THUS SHALL IT BE!!! :punch:

[Evil_Koala]

Laws of Pokemon:

Law of paralysis: When enemy is paralyzed, it always hits. Mind you, it will still always get the first hit even though speed has been cut by 75%. When your Pokemon is paralyzed, however, it will remain fully paralyzed.
Laws of Sleep: When enemy is asleep, if you try to pull a Nightmare, it will either wake up before you can pull the Nightmare or wake up the turn after, without taking effect. Your Pokemon, however, will always stay asleep.
Law of Confusion: When enemy is confused, it will NEVER hit itself, even if he didn't use a Bitter Berry/Full Heal/Full Restore. Or it will be unconfused the next turn. When you are confused, you will ALWAYS hit yourself and since there's like one freakin Bitter Berry in the entire GAME...you will be confused until the end of the battle or until you have to switch and eat a hit.
Law of Poison: You won't make it to the Pokemon center. You don't have an antidote. There are a billion wild Pokemon before you get to the next town.

QFT

I hate that. ****in Mt Moon...****in Zubats..

[Old Ape Face]

Laws of Pokemon:

Law of paralysis: When enemy is paralyzed, it always hits. Mind you, it will still always get the first hit even though speed has been cut by 75%. When your Pokemon is paralyzed, however, it will remain fully paralyzed.
Laws of Sleep: When enemy is asleep, if you try to pull a Nightmare, it will either wake up before you can pull the Nightmare or wake up the turn after, without taking effect. Your Pokemon, however, will always stay asleep.
Law of Confusion: When enemy is confused, it will NEVER hit itself, even if he didn't use a Bitter Berry/Full Heal/Full Restore. Or it will be unconfused the next turn. When you are confused, you will ALWAYS hit yourself and since there's like one freakin Bitter Berry in the entire GAME...you will be confused until the end of the battle or until you have to switch and eat a hit.
Law of Poison: You won't make it to the Pokemon center. You don't have an antidote. There are a billion wild Pokemon before you get to the next town.

That's the laws of a n00b gamer though, i get everything beyond that. :P

[Caine]

Spike dies Accept it, live with it, move on.

*yes, I put it in spoilers. I think everyone here probably knows it, but I can't know that for sure, and I'm not sure what the mods positions on that will be.

[Alice Catherine]

QFT

I hate that. ****in Mt Moon...****in Zubats..

Actually, Zubat is a great Pokemon to catch in any game after R/B/Y...simply because of the godliness that is Crobat.
But it's a PAIN IN THE *** in the beginning of the game.

[Old Ape Face]

laws of teh pro

1.Don't b a n00b, u must pwn at every game, event, ability ecs...

2. If u lose like a n00b you must continue ur training.

3. if u eat like a n00b u wil b pwned like a n00b

4. if u must wear a skirt to b pro then u must wear a skirt, doesn't matter if u r irish, polish, canadian female male chinese, african, jewish, germain, french Italian, scotish, christian, muslim or n00bish.

5. teh pro always speeks in his pwn pro language.

6. to pwn is to obliterate ur opponent without ever getting hit urself. It is ok to hit urself as long as u meant to do it.

7. It is an obligation to thrash out whenever u experience lag, if this is not posable then u must cry. Do not confuse this with emo. Emo's r pro at there pwn loses.

[CrossboneGundam]

[I]1. Freddie from Cromartie High is a character based off of Freddie Mercury from Queen. Freddie is so gay, he is manly.

But the real Freddie Mercury surpassed any and all human comprehension of both "gay" and "manly."

[Alice Catherine]

Laws of Junior High:

1. Don't believe your teachers when they say that there is no "dumb" math group. There are three groups. Algebra 1 for dropouts, Algebra 2 for the slightly smart kids whose parents beat them if they're not smart, and Algebra 1A for everyone else. Algebra 2 Honors is for the gifted students.
ALGEBRA 1 AND PRE ALGEBRA ARE ALWAYS THE DUMB MATH GROUPS EVER.

2. Science is never interesting, and they will always grade you on artistic ability, so you will always fail.

3. Study hall is not for studying. It is for playing footsie under the table with one of your harem.

4. "Accidentally" setting the Home Ec/Tech Ed. room on fire is not cute and it doesn't make you a hero. It makes the smart kids like me laugh at you and call you a retard.

5. Most kids at school won't even pay attention to D.A.R.E. or G.R.E.A.T. and will do drugs anyway. In fact, half of them are already doing drugs. This is especially true if you live in a town of either less than 5000 or more than 900,000.

6. The history and geography teachers will always be the coolest teachers, and they will all be HUGE Rocky fangirls.

7. Your English teacher is old and is friends with the intellectual kids.

8. Computer class is not for making dolls of anime characters, no matter how many times you think you "hacked the system". It would also be wise not to tell people you hacked the school system, as the teachers apparently take that seriously.

9. Choir teacher is always a crazy old bat. The art teacher is always a *****. The music teacher is always a hot chick that your harem wants to bang into their mattress with the polka dot sheets. (I **** you not; Patrick has said that to me).

10. Clubs are REALLY gay. Really.

[superplough]

hacking the computer systems at high school is about the best thing we ever did. f ing funny sht mate.

[Alice Catherine]

It's just not good to say that you did it with a teacher around.

[Caine]

there's nothing wrong with havking the school's computer system
there is something wrong with bragging about it to people who won't appreciate exactly what you did. There is also something wrong with thinking that you did, but failing.

Also, my teacher in junior high openly called it moron math.

[Leader Desslock]

Desslock's Internet Rule Of Hacker L337ness: Anyone who brags online about his hacking skills probably doesn't know more than a couple of Microsoft tricks. The real hackers on the internet are the ones who never mention hacking, and when asked about it will respond by saying, "I don't really know too much about it."

First Corrolary: Most real hackers don't engage in OS flamewars, because once they reach a certain level of ability, the differences aren't important any more.

[Rain]

But the real Freddie Mercury surpassed any and all human comprehension of both "gay" and "manly."

Freddie Mercury! :wub:

The man is manlier and gayer than any "manly" straight man.

(This is Law. :P)

[Alice Catherine]

Desslock's Internet Rule Of Hacker L337ness: Anyone who brags online about his hacking skills probably doesn't know more than a couple of Microsoft tricks. The real hackers on the internet are the ones who never mention hacking, and when asked about it will respond by saying, "I don't really know too much about it."

First Corrolary: Most real hackers don't engage in OS flamewars, because once they reach a certain level of ability, the differences aren't important any more.

But twas not I that did it!
Twas Kelton!

[superplough]

yeah, i know harldy anything about hacking, but that didnt stop it from being funny as f***

the look on people's faces when they're surfing or whatever and their window instantly closes.. priceless...

[typhonblue]

Scientific dogmatism: The dogmatic adherence to "scientific authority" of any particular B.Sc student is inversely proportionate to the woo-ness of their major.

The spectrum of woo:

Mathematics = no woo
Physics = some woo
Computer Science = more woo
Chemistry = too much woo
Biology = more woo then you can shake a stick at

[Alice Catherine]

Woo? I do not comprehend.

[Ketaru]

Anybody that begins their talk with "Freud discovered..." has no idea what they're talking about, really.

Never take a person with the "Oh my God, poor me! We're the bastard children of <insert group for comparison>" outlook seriously. (this mostly applies to people from MMORPGs who complain that their job class isn't treated fairly)

...

Oh, and anime=cartoon.

[Demon_Eva01]

The Great Law of Shred and Speedy Guitar:

None shall play faster than Herman Li.

Those who try shall have their fingers melted and will be beaten with Ibanez brand electric guitars.