Fanfiction propaganda movement

[Holy Knight]

To help spread out the awareness of this section of the forum, I propose to make a little game. Here's how it will work:

You, forum browser, will get to ask of me to write a short story of your choosing. My imagination will fill in the holes. As our (Desslock, Shiroiyuki and me) wish is to create a hub for writers, I will attempt at making the most interesting story possible.

For example, if you tell me you want to "Have a showdown between your favorite character (for example, Alucard) and a chicken in a school classroom, where the chicken wins", I'll get crackin' at it right away. Your imagination sets the premise, I do the rest.

Hopefully, this will get other people get into the fun of writing and show how creativity can go a long way.

To make this organized, I will index my stories as they get created and credit the poster who requested it.

However, my imagination fluxes and I have a mildly busy schedule at the moment, so I won't be able to make everyone's fantasy come true. First come, first serve. After that, I'll arbitrarily choose the premises that will yield the more interesting results.

Lastly, I have my own knowledge of anime, but I do not know every single personality that has been created. Therefore, I will require a minimum of information regarding the story you wish for me to make.

And now, get me writing!

EDIT: Feel free to correct any mistakes I may have made, be they grammatical, structural or plain paradox. Constructive criticism is highly appreciated.

My creations (also in order of construction. I.e. top most gets done first, bottom is last. After that it's in order of "first come first serve".):

Mel's Arc {Hellsing Universe}

Part 1: The Calling (http://www.animenation.net/forums/showpost.php?p=5793032&postcount=8) As requested by Mel (http://www.animenation.net/forums/showpost.php?p=5791924&postcount=3)
Part 2: Purpose (http://www.animenation.net/forums/showpost.php?p=5794158&postcount=14)
Part 3: Fate (http://www.animenation.net/forums/showpost.php?p=5797298&postcount=24)

[3946 words]

Kiyomichan's Arc {Crossover of Heat Guy J and an AU}

Part 1: Encounter (1) (http://www.animenation.net/forums/showpost.php?p=5827171&postcount=49)(2) (http://www.animenation.net/forums/showpost.php?p=5827174&postcount=50) As requested by Kiyomichan (http://www.animenation.net/forums/showpost.php?p=5792885&postcount=6)

Leader Desslock's Arc {Hellsing Universe}

Push-tonic for Integra (http://animenation.net/forums/showpost.php?p=5805805&postcount=37) As requested by Leader Desslock (http://www.animenation.net/forums/showpost.php?p=5793302&postcount=11)

[1233 words]

SlackerDude's Arc {Dragonball Universe}

As Requested by SlackerDude (http://www.animenation.net/forums/showpost.php?p=5791898&postcount=2)

[U]Rocker's Arc {Some wierd stuff}

[Under Construction] As requested by Rocker (http://www.animenation.net/forums/showpost.php?p=5795122&postcount=18)

[SlackerDude]

sounds interesting! i ll give it a try after i get back from school^_^

ok here it is:
i was trying to come up with a dragon ball fanfic that's placed 400 years after the dbz story .. actually i have the script for the first chapter but it's all in romanian

it goes like this:
400 years went by since Goku and the others passed away. before he died Vegeta rebuilt his old saya-jin civilisaton on another planet, naming it Vegeta.
the saya-jin were told stories about the bravery of the heroes who helped defeat Freiza, but the legend of the super saya-jin and that of the dragon balls were forgoten .. the new saya-jin race slowly became as ruthless and blood-thirsty as the extinct one.

the story should start something like : two saya-jin warriors are traveling on a mission to destroy a planet in space pods; they re both friends, but one of them is a tipical saya-jin, older than the second, who likes to hurt others and destroy (his excuse is that it s all part of his saya-jin pride) and the main character who doesn't know exactly what the mission stands for - he is naive and has no idea that they are actually killing people - which he wouldn t stand for. his temperament is colerical - rather different from Goku - but he is the only one of his kind that has moral fibre

on their way they should talk about the legend of the dragon balls - the older saya-jin makes fun of the main characters who belives in their existance

finaly they arrive, but, for some reason, the main character doesn't want to go through with the mission of blowing up the planet because of an evergrowing and unexplicabile feeling of guilt that gathers within him .. they both begin to argue

in the meantime they were being monitored by the planet's defences - it kinda looks like earth and it's inhabited by humans who are all part of the Earth ...something (federation sounds lame)

the main character decides to investigate the planet this time .. when he lands he sees that there are people on it and realises that all this time he has been taking lives in his missions .. he goes nuts .. catching up to him, his partner tries to explain to him that life other than a saya-jin's has no value and that he shouldn t feel guilty about it .. then, to demonstrate, he kills one of the inhabitants

the main character gets very upset about this and charges at him with everithing he's got .. twoard his partener surprise, he is the srongest one and he manages to overpower him .. finally they have to fight for their lives and shoot an energy beam at eachother; the older saya-jin tries to destroy him and the planet at the same time but loses and dies

weakened by the fight, the main character gets captured by the enemy with advanced means and is thrown in a cellar while being unconscious, but a girl saves him who earlyer saw him trying to explain to everyone that he means them no harm

he finds out from her that the dragon balls do exist and they can be found on earth; hearing this he sets off to search for them and wish for every person that he had uncosciously killed to come back to life, as the burden of the sin is too great for him

this should basicaly be the first chapter of the story
if you don t watch dbz or like it tell me because i have other ideeas for fan fics

[Rain]

Count me in! (you said that I could request a post of any nature before summer ends, didn'tcha?)

I don't really like fanfiction but I want Alucard in it!

Now I've gotta think of something cool for you to get your imagination crackin'. I'll edit this post later.

STORY IDEA [Based sorta on the Underworld movies?]: Two clans. Two leaders. One future. It's either kill or be killed. So okay, there are these two races (vampires and werewolves (can't think up of a cool name for the race, you can though, right?)) and they're constantly at war - one that never seems to end.

The vampiric race actually want a truce with the werewolves, to be at peace, but the werewolves decline. Their 'beef' being that centuries ago, the vampires forcefully took the werewolves as their slaves and it is something that they simply cannot forgive and forget. And then, we've got Alucard - the rogue vampire (I want his personality etc. to all be intact and no OOC stuff)! He works for the vampire Queen, Ishala (OH GOD I SUCK AT THINKING UP OF NAMES!! Change it, please!), but really, he only works for himself and answers to no one (except maybe the Queen).

However, all is not what it seems. On the surface, it seems that most of the vampires seem to want to put an end to this bloody war. However, there are those that are are itching to defy the Queen and are secretly riling up supporters. They are growing stronger (in numbers) as we speak. This group is called ____ (you think up of a name! aha). Their ultimate goal and purpose is to exterminate all the werewolves, who are deemed inferior, and to rise on top being the one and only superior race.

Recently, Alucard's been sent on an extremely high profile mission (undercover) by the Queen, herself, to personally seek out and eliminate all resistance as silently and as quickly as possible (main objective is to basically kill the leader of the resistance). He has to do this in 'the shadows' and no one must know. The werewolves can't know that there is a secret rebellion rising amongst the vampiric ranks. Alucard must not give the werewolves a reason to doubt that the vampires want a truce.

All hell's 'bout to break loose...

PS. The leader of the resistance group is a mighty powerful, sly vampire Lord (uhm, is that what you call really powerful vampires?!) and he has garnered a lot of respect within the past few years. He has a lot of supporters. No one really knows who he is, or how he looks like, since he rarely shows himself at the meetings. He always sends his second-in-command (the only person who knows who he really is etc.) to attend these secret gatherings and meetings. He is very well hidden and never leaves any traces behind.
^Oh, and can you give him a name too?

*yawn* I can't even believe I'm doing this, I hate reading AND writing! Omg. o.o

[Holy Knight]

Anything for you, Mel. ^_^

Alright, this looks like it's going to be 3k words+, so I can take anywhere between today to the end of the week to finish it. But in trying to stay with the spirit of the thread, I'll attempt to do this quickly without it losing any quality, all depends on how my ideas flow for this one.

*yawn* I can't even believe I'm doing this, I hate reading AND writing! Omg. o.o

Then the thread's working. :devil:

[shiriko]

Ah, the wonderfulness of Fanfics. I write them every now and then, and they range from PG to... uh... not-so-PG. XD We'll leave it at that. When I get some time, I may join in the fun, but I gotta think on this. I want to make you write something so impossible, that you're head will explode. ;3

[kiyomi]

All right Knight...chew on this one then...

Meat Man VS Heat Guy J

Setting: In a distant future city called Cronos on Earth.....

Characters & Plot:

Meat Man--whose name is James Steel Knight is just a regular joe friday, who works at a meat factory in the outskirts of the futuristic city...he is just 18 years old, and has to work at this factory to help support himself and his mother and 3 smaller brothers.

He doesnt know he has very special powers. (Those powers will be up to you to decide what they are for our young man.)

His latent powers go unnoticed until one day, the Factory he works at blows up and threatens the small country village of Spartos that him and his family live in.....those powers are suddenly seen, when he has to use them to save his small village.

Meanwhile, in the big Future City of Cronos, our known Hero, Heat Guy J resides.....

He battles the forces of evil with all of his android skills that he posesses, and keeps the prestine city of Cronos safe and secure...

But there's an evil force that has come to this small part of the world that both our heros reside at....and the evils name is.....

Heat Guy J

An exact replica of our dear own Heat Guy J...but this one has been programed to kill and destroy all living beings...

And that means J and J will battle it out for supremacy...and along the way, our dear Meat Man will ultimatly be dragged into this awsome battle for humankind....

okay...take it from there...do whatever..just dont kill my heros off...or I shall have to smote you with Thors hammer of Justice...

[Holy Knight]

Ah, the wonderfulness of Fanfics. I write them every now and then, and they range from PG to... uh... not-so-PG. XD We'll leave it at that. When I get some time, I may join in the fun, but I gotta think on this. I want to make you write something so impossible, that you're head will explode. ;3

You try. "Impossible" is not in my vocabulary. :devil:

@Kiyomichan: Excellent, I'll get at it once I'm done with Mel's request!

[Holy Knight]

[Mel's Arc]

Part 1: The calling

Deep within the forgotten cellars of the Hellsing manor, resided many cells to detain various creatures. These entities had been considered to be of a dangerous nature to the civilized world, some being too savage and possessing too much of a destructive nature to be let loose to roam about unchecked. Some had been captured in remote parts of the world and preserved for their rarity as well as being used for experimental means. Other creatures were born from laboratories in experiments the Ancients of Hellsing conducted for purely scientific reasons. These masses of flesh came in all shapes and sizes, in all ranges of personalities. Each cell containing these creatures had been kept in pristine shape, with drastic measures taken to ensure the cells could not be opened from the inside, either through force or trickery. Various symbols adorned the doors to these various cells, each one more powerful than the last, the further one went into the recesses of these unbecoming halls, at the end of which was situated a door leading to the epitome of Hellsing’s history. It was a creature guarded so closely and with wardings so powerful, that there was no hope for it to escape. This door enclosed the one called, in this time and age, Alucard. And a little girl slowly opened the door, running from death and happening upon her salvation…

-25 years later-

“Alucard! Where are you?” resounded Integra’s voice. “Where is he this time? She mumbled. He’s always out of my sight.” She went on stalking to her study, where she promptly sat down, fuming about an important issue that had plagued London for the last few weeks. For the first time in nearly ten years, vampires were resurfacing. However, this time they marched not under the banner of the defiled Swastika, but under that of death. Indeed, as many as 6 corpses had been found in as little as two weeks, all possessing the aquiline features associated to the vampiric race.

While ruminating over these odious facts, a shadow silently slipped through the wall directly behind Integra. “You called for me, Master?” Not one to be taken by surprise, even though she missed a few heartbeats, Integra calmly chastised her charge “I was looking for you all morning. Where were you? This has been happening too much of late, aren’t you my guardian?” receiving no answer, she decided to let the issue drop and went on in a different tone “What have you uncovered?” This made the youthful features of the nosferatu crack in a wide, boyish grin, the mouth being the only visible part of this shadow. Boyish if you did not know this man’s thoughts. To anyone who was acquainted with Alucard, however, this particular grin signified rapturous pleasure, almost vile in the purpose it carried and premonitory of much bloodshed on his part. Integra sighed. These where going to be difficult times to keep this one in check she thought.

For once, the dark shadow’s head, suddenly illuminated faintly by the reflection of the sun in a mirror on the other side of the room, did not sport its wide-brimmed trademark hat. The red eyes sparkling like identical rubies of perfect crystalline composition, had now an added fiery nature that nearly made them glow in the unlighted room. Something’s happened, thought Integra. I haven’t seen him this excited since I released him from that prison of his all those years ago.

“What is it, Alucard? Said Integra after a moment. You haven’t answered my question.” It took a certain measure of effort for the tall vampire to part his gleaming teeth, filled to a point and sharp enough to cut through iron. Finally breaking out of his reverie, his voice left his throat in a quick, rasping manner “Master Integra. I have received a summons of sorts.” Before she could interject, he went on in the same excited tones: “The vampire queen has requested my presence. I would stay by your side, Master, but the call of our brood mother is powerful and compelling.” This caused an explosion of questions within Integra. A vampire queen? I have never been told of this! What does she want? Is it related to the recent murders? Alucard went on as if he hadn’t noticed the questioning disapproval on Integra’s brow. “I will depart the moment the sun sets.” Suddenly, he realized he was leaving his master in the dark. He quickly scanned her face and immediately assumed a more somber countenance.

“Alucard, what is this? I have never heard of a vampire queen before! Does this have anything to do with the turmoil we have been experiencing for the past weeks?” The vampire took a moment to ponder his answer. “Our…queen, Lambia sie Nuva O Utrech, which means “Mother of the New Race”, in very ancient and highly formal vampiric language, was my last master. The “New Race” of vampires, quite old to you humans is relatively new to our minority. Our history spans farther back than that of frail humans. This new formation of vampires is young and is the result of a past overthrowing of the last vampiric royal family. Lambia was to be the successor. However, the successor is blood-bound to tradition. The failing numbers of our race would have been extinct by now had she submitted to these values. Except me, of course, he said with a sudden grin.”

This round of information caused Integra to begin asking a new question, but Alucard smoothly interrupted her. “That is our current history. My master only used me to attain her goals through the assassination of specific members. She then assumed power and I went into seclusion. If it weren’t for Van Hellsing, I wouldn’t be here today. I do not know why she wishes to meet me for the first time in two millennia. You will have to trust me in this matter, master. There is much, much more to say about history, but some things are better off unknown.” He finished with a direct stare at his master.

Clear enough, thought Integra. I can trust him, can’t I? Looking up into the glassy quality of her subject’s eyes, she knew she had no choice but to let him sort it out. “You have one week to resolve this matter.” After a peremptory “Thank you, master”, Alucard swept out of the room soundlessly feeling extremely satisfied. He couldn’t restrain himself, so he let out a slow chuckling that quickly cascaded into a chilling laugh at the thought of blood and of sport to come. Finally. This can only mean blood. Sweet, red blood, trickling down the defeated body of a powerful foe in oceans of beauty, painting the earth in a hue of life. BLOOD! The halls crackled with the static ecstasy of bloodlust.

[shiriko]

Well, I hope you're good at Shounen Ai, I've got ideas XP O' course, there'll prolly be action and something like that too... maybe XD

[kiyomi]

whoa....wonder what he's gonna do with my story...

[Leader Desslock]

Ah, I had it backwards! D'oh! <smacks head> I must've gotten fuzzy after spending too many hours of seaching through pages of forum threads to find fanfics to index...

When you ran the idea past me, I thought you were going to put this forth as a challenge for other people to write. I thought you were going to post one idea (Alucard versus MegaChicken) and have everyone write their own passages / outline to handle it. So then we'd end up with a half-dozen chicken stories and could compare notes on how different people handle the same problem.

This is more brave. You're going for the Crucible School of Writing Practice, I see. "Hey, people - come up with incongruent writing ideas to challenge me!" I don't know that I'd have the guts to do that, but it's very good practice, no questions there. Very well - a challenge you shall have!

Hmm... an incongruent situation which poses a writing challenge, possibly involving Hellsing.... Let's see.... Ah! I've got one:


Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing is not a woman given to regrets, at least not visibly. She's a strong woman who makes tough decisions and lives with the consequences of those decisions. The challenge is to write a scene in which she shows a twinge of introspective self-judgement - while remaining true to the original character, of course. Show us a side of Integra that we haven't seen.

The scene will take place on the Hellsing estate grounds, but not at her desk or in her office. Her introspection will be triggered by an object in her surroundings, whether it's something she finds, something she goes to visit - whatever. The object can be whatever you want it to be, but presumably it will have some connection to her introspective thoughts. The intensity of her thoughts, the level of introspection, her final resolution, other characters present or not - I leave these things up to you. The focus is on creating a short glimpse into a different facet of Integra's character.


If you ever get around to trying it, I'll be interested to see what you write. Other folks are throwing you things on the plot level, so I thought I'd toss a character/description log on the fire to even out the heat. Hopefully this'll prove to be a short enough exercise to be feasible, while still enough of a challenge to make it interesting. Enjoy!

[kiyomi]

^Whoa......wonder what he'd do with my story if he ever got a hold of it..

DONT ANSWER THAT DESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would probably have to smote him with my Silver Spatula of Chaos....

[Holy Knight]

@Shiriko: Err...Shounen-ai...Err...<sigh> In for a penny, in for a pound! you want shounen-ai, you'll get it!

@Leader Desslock: Yeah, I know I'm in for for some major pain. What I wish to attain is something where people will go "wow, this guy's great, let me try!". Hopefully, this will get more writers in here. If it fails, well, at least I'll be the one to reap all the benefits. :P

EDIT: @SlackerDude: No worries, my very first manga was DB so I'm well versed in it. If I ever get in a clinch, my manga will be there to show me the way.

@Kiyomichan: Could I have a bit of backround on J? I know the anime series goes around this guy who's a robot detective, but I don't know much more than that. But if you tell me the things you posted should be enough to go on about, no problem, I'll work it out.

[Holy Knight]

Part 2: Purpose

The Hellsing mansion’s highest tower was situated in the upper eastern wing, which in turn faced a northerly direction. It could not be called the tallest of towers as much as an architectural defect. The building having being constructed over the ruins of a former castle, certain liberties had to be taken while reshaping the whole and more than one architect pored over its blueprints. And so, the eastern tower came to be the highest, for the architect in charge of this division of the place had a singular and egoist personality that pushed him in wanting this particular tower to be higher than the others by three whole feet. Claiming ignorance at the forceful queries of the other architects as to the actual height of this tower, he persisted in an adamant way that this height had been the discussed one all along. He attributed the fault to the other’s incompetence and the imbalance this caused to the four tower’s heights to be overshadowed by the fact this tower faced northwards and so, symbolically, presented a strong feature to the overall look of the manor.

The eventual flow of time blew away this petty quarrel and the only one to have any inkling as to this small feature was the one who currently sat atop it, surveying the lay of the land. I come, thought Alucard. A sudden gust of wind prompted a rush of energy within the nosferatu and so, unable to contain his excitement, he went into and with the wind. His night senses amplifying his acuteness to speed, the lights of the city of London seemed to blur in his vision and if he looked directly at the ground, his perceived quickness of movement prompted him to flow all the quicker towards his destination. He took his time traveling from country to country, reveling in the power the wind carried about, the stars of the night illuminating his way and casting a ghastly light wherever his own shadow fell. Dread filled the hearts of the inhabitants of the small villages he flew over. Petty humans hiding from the unknown and only knowing that something was out there.

After a while, he tired of this voyage and instantly opened a rift in the fabric of space to promptly arrive at his destination. This inhabitation was a small cottage on the fringe of Romania, close to the sea. Nondescript as it was in appearance, it still held a tangible feel of power emanating from it. Alucard had been able to locate this area for the queen possessed an innate lodestone of sorts for vampires. Having no need to knock on the door, since his presence would have been felt by his queen by blood bond alone, he slowly opened the door, walking in calmly and closed it again without turning around, twisting his hand to make it click shut. The fireplace had two big logs nicely warming the room, fueling a small, though intense fire. The bubbled glass of the windows showed this was no recent dwelling and supposed some settler had lived in there two or three centuries past, if the rough quality of the log walls and wooden floor weren’t enough of a clue. There was a rug of sorts on the floor, oval in shape and ragged about the edges with the colors being of a faded brown near it’s outer ring and cerulean blue the nearer to it’s center. On top of it sat a table of exquisite workmanship, sharply in contrast to the shambled interiors. But what caught Alucard’s attention was the woman gently rocking back and forth in a chair specially designed for this single purpose.

Taking off his hat and giving a perfectly formal bow, Alucard uttered: “Lambia…” The woman in the rocking chair stopped moving for a moment then resumed doing so. She was quite youthful in appearance, looking no more than in her late twenties or early thirties. Rough black hair flowed down her back unsupported in any fashion – if indeed vampires could be said to have any – and even her high forehead seemed to want to rid itself of the unwanted weight. She had a sharp nose and square features, though that did not stop her from being quite handsome in appearance. However, any who called her less than razor sharp could get promptly and finely sliced, word by meticulous word, by a mind honed from two millennia’s work. “We meet again, Alucard” He took this as an assent to get up from his bow and shaped his facial features into a inquiring look. “I’ll go straight to the point. We wish for peace with the G’eh ast.” This statement surprised Alucard enough to make him show this and Lambia nodded in ascent. “Times have changed. The werewolves are no longer slaves and are now fully functional and intelligent species. Many things have changed in the while you were away and this includes much in the way of their evolution.”

Alucard patiently waited for her to continue. “As such, we wish for peace and coexistence with them, though they are, quite understandably, reticent about our offer and that would be…an understatement about their feelings.” She paused, gathering her thoughts, which gave enough time for Alucard to ask his own question: “And what does this have to do with me? You are no longer my master, Mother” He ended formally. “I have but one more request of you, Great One.” She said, smiling gently. “A small group of us disagree with such an alliance. I, too, would deny the G’eh ast’s existence if I could, but I am weary of strife and these squabbles do nothing more than winnow us out, one by one. To assure survival of the vampiric race, certain things must be accepted in order to live on. Many of us wish we had your power, Alucard, but we pure vampires are mere shadows of your kind.” Still Alucard remained silent. “I ask only of you to dispose of the leader of these dissidents.” The slit that passed for a mouth on Alucard’s face sliced open into a wide grin and gave way to pearly white teeth that gleamed ominously in the flickering shadows. “Lambia sie Nuva O Utrech, your word is Law and I am more than happy to indulge. I need only a name and I will bring the head.” Lambia’s features turned to a slightly harder expression. “I also ask that the G’eh ast do not find out about this mission. It is to be highly secret. The only reason I specifically requested your aid was because you are effective and the leader of this group is among the most powerful of us. I know you cause much fanfare in battle, so for once, I humbly beg of you to use stealth.”

Making sure he had assimilated all of this information, she then added: “His name is Donovan among the Council, but his true name is Ducharist. Go now, my stead.” And in a gust of wind, the nosferatu went off hunting, the excitement of the kill bubbling once more in his chest.

[Holy Knight]

In the second part of this story, at the part where I make Alucard meet up with the queen, I was SO tempted to start it off like this:

“Why, if it isn’t Alucard? Come here, dear, let me embrace you.” Suddenly catching something in his throat, Alucard gurgled: “Mamaaa!” Tears flowing down his cheeks, he threw himself onto the elderly woman and gave her a bear’s hug. “Son, you come back home at last!” She cried, “Oh, how we missed you, big boy! Where have you been all this time?”...

However,it would have detracted from the overall tone of the story and Mel wanted me to stay in character. Ah well. :P

[Rain]

@HK - Thank you so much! It's not even done and I'm totally digging it so far. -IS MESMERIZED- ^_^ You're officially my hero, ahaaa.

You said that you'd appreciate us correcting your mistakes, so here I go - they were mostly careless mistakes though, nothing major.

PART 1
1) [4th paragraph]...nearly made them glow in the unlit room.

2) [5th paragraph, 1st sentence] “What is it, Alucard?”, inquired Integra after a moment...

3) [5th paragraph, middle to end] “I would stay by your side, Master, but the call of our blood mother is powerful and compelling.”

PART 2
4) [1st paragraph] The building having been constructed over the ruins of a former castle...

5) [2nd paragraph, middle] ...the lights of the city of London seemed to blur in his vision and looking directly at the ground, his perceived quickness of movement prompted him...

6) [3rd paragraph, middle] The fireplace had two big logs nicely warming the room, fueling a small but intense fire.

7) [4th paragraph, end] “Times have changed. The werewolves are no longer slaves and are now fully functional and an intelligent species...

8) [5th paragraph, beginning] ...reticent about our offer and that in itself would be a great understatement of their feelings.”

9) [5th paragraph, middle] To ensure survival of the vampiric race, certain things must be accepted (or done?) in order to live on.

10) [5th paragraph, end] ...I specifically requested your aid was because you have not once failed me and the leader of this group...

11) [6th paragraph (last), last sentence] ...the excitement of the kill pulsating/reverberating once more in his chest.

The fixed corrections are in bold, feel free to ignore 'em if you want!


PS. Once again, thanks! :huggles:

However,it would have detracted from the overall tone of the story and Mel wanted me to stay in character. Ah well. :P

OH THANK GOD YOU DIDN'T! ahaa. That'd be too much for me to handle... I think. :lol:

I must've gotten fuzzy after spending too many hours of seaching through pages of forum threads to find fanfics to index...

You're already fuzzy!

[kiyomi]

All right Knightsan...here's the DL on J......

His body is made up of some unknown steel, I'm guessing..alloy...whatever, hell, use your imagination on what his bod is made of...kinda like Wolverines skeletal form...get what I'm sayin here??

His brain is computer generated with AI technology...he is, in essence, kind of like Data on Star Trek Next Gen......a machine...but with human qualities, and a desire to FEEL human emotions and thoughts.

His powers...he's kinda like Superman on crack...can see thru anything..leap tall building in a single jump...and can virtually destroy anything that gets in his way with his fists of steel...you can add any other powers he might have to suit your storyline...

If his "human skin" is ever burned off, his entire true skeletal "Steel" form is unveiled...and it looks really wicked...shoot..ya gotta see it for yourself..cuz it's hard to describe what that kind of body looks like...

One last thing...he has these thick pipes that come out from his chest, that goes up and sort of curves around the sides of his neck to release hot steam, after he fights..in order to "cool" his mechanical body down...

That's about it..hope this helps you out..if not..then just use your own imagination for the big guy....

[emotoaster]

Have Jack Tomson Uwe Boll and me get into a fight to the death, my only weapon is a squirt gun and I have both my legs tied up so I can't move. Jack has a microphone that makes his ranting burst your ear drums, and Uwe...well he just sucks so much it hurts his oppenets.
Oh just for anime's sakes add some flair, like we're surrounded by the Tenchi gang, or something.

[shiriko]

*Laughs* Wow...

[Holy Knight]

@Mel: Glad you liked it and thanks for the corrections! Part three to come either tonight or tomorrow.

@Kiyomichan: Perfect, it's all I need. Story coming up sometime this week!

@Rocker: <Smites Rocker with the Stamp of Approval>

[SlackerDude]

is mine coming soon as well ? because if you haven't started it, then i could give a few more extra details and add a continuation to the plot (not trying to preasure you or anything -_-; i know i can't be picky since you were nice enough to accept my ideea too)

good luck^_^

[kiyomi]

buwaahahahahaaaaa..**rubs hands together**

He's gonna write my story soon...yessssss!!!!!

Next story line will be Father Desslock and the Temple of Doomsday...

To be continued....... :P

[Holy Knight]

is mine coming soon as well ? because if you haven't started it, then i could give a few more extra details and add a continuation to the plot (not trying to preasure you or anything -_-; i know i can't be picky since you were nice enough to accept my ideea too)

good luck^_^

Nope, I haven't started it yet and probably won't until next monday or so. Maybe wednesday. Depends on my productivity. So you can post up some more information, it's no problem and it will make its way into the story.

This made me make a slight update to my OP, too.

[Holy Knight]

Part 3: Fate

The cavern resounded with verbal prowess, the echo of a grand speech and a standing ovation having set more fissures in the rough stone surfaces of the walls than centuries could hope to accomplish. Only when the hubbub had died to a reasonable decibel level did Ducharist continue: “Vampiric people, tonight we strike! Former slaves and impure souls of the unworthy shall be cast into the bonfires of a new era, free of foul half-men, half-beast creatures never meant to oppose us, the one and only pure race!” At this, the chamber exploded in more applause. Hundreds of vampires gleefully welcomed their leader’s speech and anxiously awaited his orders.

Alucard, perched at the edge of a low opening that leaded to a vast underground network of tunnels, peered up at the multitude of bloodsuckers. Vampires have unfortunately not shed the horrendous and out of fashion manner of perching themselves from the top of caverns in the manner of bats. Some have tried to keep this tradition alive, but it only had a very few followers since not many could stand the ridicule of being associated to children who had not yet outgrown their little bat-games. It so appeared that Ducharist was fond of using such method of seating for his audience (one could speculate that the added level of blood to a vampire’s brain addled them in such a way as to accept any and all kinds of bloodshed).

Nosferatu are a high level of master vampires and possess many innate and latent powers. A nosferatu is not formed; he (or she) is born one. Ducharist being one, Alucard knew this would not be a simple fight and would require a respectful amount of power to deal with. The others were nuisances that had probably been enticed to join the leader’s cause. All were young as vampires go and whatever their alignment this night, they would be eventually coaxed into submission by their queen. This much, Alucard knew. So it begins. He thought. Whispering the phrases to unlock a minor level of his power, Alucard then immediately proceeded to render harmless the hapless audience by inducing them with a forced sleep that would produce very unpleasant and painful dreams.

Caught off-guard, Ducharist took a few seconds to recover from the shock of seeing a cavern full of vampires suddenly fall asleep. Realizing he had been somehow betrayed or found out, he quickly receded into a corner of the dark chamber and promptly set about looking for an entrance to one of the various tunnels. A mellifluous voice slowly started a crescendo, slithering through every crevice and pore of the surrounding area. “Ducharist. Ducharissst.” It said. The owner of the name recognizing the ancient voice came to the realization that this was no mere force that had been sent to stop his coalition. He slowly raised himself from his crouching position and dusted off his long overcoat in a precise manner, every inch of arrogant charisma punctuated to a point. When he was satisfied with his regalia was impeccable, he addressed the voice: “Ahh, Alucard. It has been a long time, has it not, friend?” He began. “Why can’t we talk this over like humans do? I know I am no match for your prowess in battle and these bones of mine have grown brittle with time.” He pointed to two rocks situated in the middle of the cavern and sat down on the smallest one, presenting the other to his interloper. Alucard, however, conjured his own high-backed chair suspiciously resembling a miniature throne.

“Old friend, let’s talk this over, shall we?” Ducharist started sweating, the silence of the other oppressing the little pressure his nerves could handle. “Shall we? Friend?” Breaking the silence, alucard said: “D, what is this? Where is your fervor for battle? Hurry! I wish for blood, and you are a rare opponent! Do not try to deceive me.” Suddenly taking out Cassul and pointing it at Ducharist’s head, he continued: “You’ve never run away, D. Not even from death! The queen wishes for your head and so it will be.” Snarling with a sudden rush of adrenaline, Ducharist revived his hunting instincts and felt his brain run through the motions of increasing his physical power exponentially. The fibers of his muscles accrued their output by fifty times that of a human’s and his reflexes gained such acuteness that if his vampiric senses had not been honed by centuries of practice, the very quickness of his movements would have caused his muscular structure to tear down in an instant.

Blasting a first round with his Cassul and missing his target by inches, Alucard instantly reacted by taking out Jackal and firing off a round with this new weapon. The ricochet of the first round would have hit Ducharist squarely in the head if it weren’t for an unlucky vampire who lost his hold on the ceiling as consequence of the tremendous blast that Cassul produced. This poor soul went plummeting and received the ricocheted bullet in the jugular, thus deviating Ducharist’s early demise and producing a one-in-a-million occurrence of “impotent vampire”. In any case, the leader drew a slightly curved, double-edged sword at the moment of lunging at Alucard and lashed out viciously, stabbing the nosferatu in the heart and proceeded to use his razor sharp nails to cut his opponent to shreds.

The mass of shadows that was Alucard started to reform itself slowly, a few eyes opening about on his body inquiring as to the intruder who dared to damage this body. This made both vampires grin with anticipation. “Go on, release that demonic power of yours, Ancient One!” Cried Ducharist. “I’ll release my own! Eye for an eye!” Alucard’s eyes widened with pleasure, his ghastly smile giving him an air of one who revels in pain. By now, Ducharist was dodging Alucard’s bullets at blinding speed, going about the chamber as freely as lightning would, playing with silver and speed. Suddenly changing direction and running straight to Alucard for a powerful trust of his sword, Ducharist lunged with grace and missed his target by inches. Instinctively letting his body handle an angle at which it would be impossible for a human body to handle, Alucard twisted Cassul around in the air just enough to let off a blasting retort to his left and a few degrees behind him. This caught Ducharist in the shoulder and he staggered from the sheer power of the gun. Shrugging it off and trusting his heightened regenerative capabilities, Ducharist seemed unaware that he had been grievously wounded.

“Thuvar gon’a fresk kom a a’i a tu fluvsk” Muttered the leader. This sequencing phrase opened up new pathways in his dormant senses and unleashed a surge of energy. “I call upon…” but his sentence was interrupted by Alucard’s resounding recital of his own unleashing of power. With growing horror, Ducharist watched as the shadow before him grew and bore eyes borrowed to the great entity Yog-Sototh. Fixating their mesmerizing gaze upon their target, the uniform mass before him materialized into Cerberus, who came bounding in great leaps. Knowing his end was near if he did not act quickly, he ended his phrase with “Mars”. However, Alucard had anticipated this and as his opponent was about to pronounce the ending syllable “(ah-)rz”, he blew a hole in the mouth of the nosferatu and ended the incantation. Reeling from the shock, Ducharist vainly tried to regain his composure, but Cerberus’s jaws were already wide-open, three inches from his face. A snap of bones ended the battle.

Upon returning and reciting the events to his queen, Alucard thoughtfully wrapped the head in a cloth so as not to stain the cottage with its blood-stench. “Ducharist had once smelled sweet.” Sighed the queen. “That is over now.” Taking this as dismissal, the nosferatu turned to the door. “Could you at least answer a question before you go?” Without waiting for approval, she went on: “why didn’t you take the opportunity to challenge a god? You have always relished strong opponents.” However, the only answer she received was Alucard’s head that swiveled enough in her directed for her to see eyes shadowed by smoked glasses and a very large smile. “If you require my services again my queen, do not hesitate to ask.” And as ephemeral had his presence been in this small venture, he was gone.

The sun was setting slowly in the horizon over the top of the northern tower of the Hellsing mansion, as one could have seen through Alucard’s vision from the Eastern tower. He sat there for a moment thinking over the past events and categorizing them as he did all such events. Melancholy was a foreign emotion to him and so he did not recognize what he felt while going through his thoughts. After a while, he saw slight movement near the gate and could see a black car come through and recognized Integra in the window of the back seat. Slipping back into the halls of the mansion, he arrived at precisely the moment his master entered her study. “Greetings, master.” Smiling, though with a peculiarly hard expression on her face, Integra replied: “Welcome back, Old One.”

/End of Mel's Arc

[GreatNekoKoneko]

...nice. very nice. didnt you have an alternate intro for this though?

[Rain]

AWESOME! ^_^ You got it done in what, less than 2 days? I wonder how long that took!

[kiyomi]

God...Knight, you are DA MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excellent work Meat Man!!! Keep goin and get to my story soon!! :smokin:

[SlackerDude]

yoshi! more info! lesse ... something like this :

in the larger picture saya-jins declare war on the neighbouring star sistems, followed by a rain of destruction: some planets are destroied, some are concored and enslaved. there has to be someone or something controling the goverment of Vegeta from the shadows, but, in a way, different than Freiza who ruled with an iron fist; this time there has to be more of a simbiotic relationship between the saya-jin and the misterious ... um .. dark force .. or whatever -_-; so that they, from siding with it, (the misterious force) may obtain more power in excange for military might.

the war reaches the planets joined to Earth, so the conflict begins. not only that the main character would not let inocent people die in a needless war, but also the dragon balls are on the blue planet, which he needs to find so he can wish to restore everything he destroied.

on his way to earth there are lots of things that happen. for one thing the saya-jin inteligence discover his betrail and send execution parties after him. he pins almost all of them down, one by one, but then stumbles on their comanding officer, who gives him a doozie of a time. the two powers clash in a massive display of skill and strenght; however the officer seems to have the advantage at first (duh:P), but, with the distruction of the planet they're fighting along with all its inhabitants at hand, plus all the annoying tounts of the officer, the boy gets the upper hand and defeats him
note that the officer doesn't die but runs away, his life being spared -- i've decided to make him swort of an important character of the story. he is not quite like vegeta, although he does have an overinflated ego to carry arownd; he will soon learn the fowlly/fowly/whatever of his ways and turn passive-good or even good. but that happens later while he "hangs arownd" more with the main character, who is charismatic enough to change people and turn them twoard good.

after the fight is over and the officer leaves, the young saya-jin is left exausted and loses consciousness. he is found and treated by a martial arts grandmaster and begins to train to become stronger (not for a particular reason, it's just that the old martial artist shows the boy how weak he really is) .. note that the grandmaster might even be king kai, but he should be way to weak to teach the saya-jin new tricks .. oh and king kai is dead ... gomen-_-; ... but in an unexpected turn of events he could live on the planet ... all i m saying is that it would be good for the main character to have someone tell him stories about goku and such

the training te goes through is intense takes a lot out of him. he practices his speed by always carrying giant weights, which might even give birth to a couple of comical situations. he recieves a lot to weird training, but, in the end it's all for the good, as he becomes much stronger than he initialy was. his teacher hopes that one day he will become a super saya-jin, the first one in 400 years, and protect the galaxy from evil, but, alas, hides this fact from him.

well that's it for now, but i'll be back with more ideas to keep your head spinning ;)
damn, i wrote all of this without pausing .. i think MY head is spinning..

[Holy Knight]

Thanks for the information, it has now been factored in. I'll get it in writing probably sometime next week.

And by the way, you double posted.

AWESOME! ^_^ You got it done in what, less than 2 days? I wonder how long that took!

Glad you liked it. ^_^

Yeah, I did it in two days or about 2 hours straight per part. You got lucky: monday was a day off for me, so that's why I wrote so much.

[SlackerDude]

sorry, my internet works like dog poo, and sometimes disconnects every..um...5 seconds, so it was a strugle for me to post that .. actualy i didn't even know i had posted it, i was going to now, but i guess two times is enough :))

[kiyomi]

Very nicely done tho, Slackerdude!! :naughty:

[Rain]

Glad you liked it. ^_^

Yeah, I did it in two days or about 2 hours straight per part. You got lucky: monday was a day off for me, so that's why I wrote so much.

I more than -just- liked it, I loved it! :)

Day off? No college classes on that day, eh? (Same as my brother.)

[SlackerDude]

Very nicely done tho, Slackerdude!! :naughty:

yep^_^ handy man, that's what they call me in the getto B-)

[Holy Knight]

I more than -just- liked it, I loved it! :)

Day off? No college classes on that day, eh? (Same as my brother.)

Ah no, I've been on summer vacation since mid-may. I meant I wasn't working on monday.

And Kiyomichan, I should have your story up by tomorrow if I'm lucky.

P.S. Ya know what? All that typing has already made me increase my overall typing speed so maybe I'll be able to write even faster than I thought. ;)

[kiyomi]

Hey..no pressure Knight...take your time..I can wait....

cuz..it BETTER be GOOD...

Or else.................

[Rain]

Ah no, I've been on summer vacation since mid-may. I meant I wasn't working on monday.

And Kiyomichan, I should have your story up by tomorrow if I'm lucky.

P.S. Ya know what? All that typing has already made me increase my overall typing speed so maybe I'll be able to write even faster than I thought. ;)

Better get the hot 'grannys' story up soon, ya hear!

You only get a day off a week?! Whoa, dude.

Ahahaa, did it now? Damn, I bet you didn't expect your WPM to go up.

[Holy Knight]

Push-tonic for Integra

The cool interior of the Hellsing family’s black Rolls Royce was in sharp contrast to the stifling heat a mere few inches closer in space to the car’s exterior. To its left was a grand park tended on a regular basis to nip any rebellious branch or leaf that had almost begun to grow as if its purpose was to defile the symmetry of the area. The lush carpet of grass presented a still uniform front against the torrent of leaves falling in droves from the trees. Indeed, it was the season of Death, autumn. Brilliant colors adorned these beings still clutching to a waning stream of life, which was only amplified by the all-encompassing orange of a setting sun.

To the right of Integra’s vision was a much more somber sight when compared to the rainbow of colors emanating form the park. The Hellsing family had never considered the mansion as much a home as it was a near fortress. At least from the inside it was so. It’s exterior presented a façade of a charming and welcoming openness with its many windows and artfully carved stairways. The only thing that marred the beauty of the mansion was the tall, dark-iron gate that somehow inevitably makes its way into all similar properties. An elbow perched on the edge of the closed car’s window, chin in the palm of her hand, Integra gazed nostalgically at the massive structure.

It was the place of her birth, her life and her first encounters with death. There she had suffered as much as she had felt joy. The loss of innocence and the realization of reality had all occurred within this enclosed space. What am I doing? Asked Integra to herself. Alucard may have already finished his mission with his queen. However, the setting sun coupled to the beauty of the playfully swishing leaves through the park, eluding even the most dexterous of veteran park tenders, as well as the emotional countenance of the imposing mansion, Integra felt a momentary laziness seep through her. I shouldn’t be doing this, there’s work to do. But oh, did it feel good to behold an immovable nature, rock-solid in its dependency.

Gazing at what she called her home, she suddenly remembered a flood of memories. I was walking through that park there when I saw a small bunny hop through the bush. Wanting to catch it and being only nine years old, she was very curious about this cute little creature and proceeded to call after it. This only scarred the poor creature to hop about at a faster pace. Daddy! Daddy! There’s a bunny running over there! Her father, being the affectionate man he was, showed her how to stalk prey from a distance. Every footfall counted. The direction of the wind, its strength, the glare of the sun, and every detail down to minutiae counted. Pressing the ball of her feet lightly on the grass, Integra stalked just as her father had told her to. Approaching prey from behind was a task of stealth, dedication and patience. She had the small target only five feet in front of her. Three feet, two, and she pounced with the entire muster her legs could give. Landing flat on her belly, though with her prize tightly clutched between her hands, she cried out in pleasure: Daddy! I have him! What a glorious moment! The soft fur of the little bundle was an exquisite feeling of warmth and tenderness. That only lasted a moment, however, as the bunny nipped at her left hand which incidentally had its torso in an iron grip.

Crying out in pain and outrage, she let her captive out of her hands in shock, to quickly cover her hand. She cried all the way to the infirmary, at which point she decided that all bunnies and rabbits were to be loathed. I hate him! I hate them all! I hate bunnies! This outburst, though expected on some level by the other attending adults, carried with it an unexpected amount of venom. All that night, she had gone on about deception and deceit in appearances in even the smallest of things. I can’t trust things like them. They just look adorable so they can hurt you better! Never, ever again. I won’t trust anything again that looks adorable or kind to me. And so, in a fury, she proceeded to shred all her toys that resembled even vaguely to bunnies or rabbits. Deciding her love for her other toys to be too great to destroy, she nonetheless chose their ultimate fate through pure spite. If I love them, then they’ll just deceive me in the end.

The next morning, the general news thorough the household was about Integra’s sudden change of character. How could such a sweet girl do such a thing? Had cried one maid. It’s the Hellsing blood. I hear it’s cursed. Said another. All that day, she refused to be attended to and threw tantrums whenever anyone attempted conversation with her. Her adamant refusal to explain and her downcast stare coupled to the pouting lips and tightly crossed arms across her chest made for a mighty show juvenile defiance. Her father, deciding the best course of things for her was to let her vent, he dragged her to the park and said he’d let her be alone for a while. That suited her just fine at the moment. Wandering through the park with thoughts of hate and revenge, she happened upon two spots of blood on a branch leaf, which lead to more droplets farther away that nearly stained the grass in some places. Curiosity and a sense of dread filling her, she followed these clues diligently until a small bush blocked her way.

Gently parting the branches laden with dew, she happened upon a fox. He’s a hunter. I like hunters. She decided. And that thought would have continued if it hadn’t been for the red painting the fox’s mouth like a clown’s. Lowering her eyes a bit, she saw that the creature had been feasting on the very same bunny that had bitten her only the day before. Her tearing scream scarred the fox away and drew the alarmed shouts of those who were carefully following her. They brought a terrified and distraught Integra livid into the safety of the mansion. Her father sat along with her in silence. After a time, Integra said, taking her father’s elbow in her hands as well as using it as a pillow for her head: I trust you, daddy.

And so, upon hearing her chauffeur’s voice calling out: “Sir? It’s getting dark, should we go in?” Integra’s reminiscing was interrupted and she quickly smoothed her appearance, adorning the hard face she had worn so well over the years. Why such reverie now? She was becoming soft! The lines in her face hardened even more into a mask of impenetrable stone. I have a job to do. This is no time to dally about. “Drive us in, Charles, will you?” She said. “Very well, madam.” The sun quickly fading in the horizon, the car entered the gates. Her last thoughts on the matter, fleeting and barely noticed were enough to make her unconsciously smile. Alucard’s the fox, isn’t he? And I’m a little bunny.

[Holy Knight]

So sorry, Kiyomichan, but I had a kind of writer's block while writing your Arc, so I decided to take break from writing by trying to loose it up, so I ended doing Desslock's Arc instead.

Don't worry, though! This just means your story will be much more refined! <Waits to be hit by a frying pan, or worse>

EDIT: Desslock, I forgot to add in: did I write story the way you wanted it to be? I worried I strayed from what it was you asked. If needed, I'll rewrite it.

[kiyomi]

No more frying pans Knight..so you are safe.

And take your time with my story..there's really no hurry about it. I know you have alot on your plate...so just take a breather and relaxe.

Even if you get my story..like say by christmas, I'll be happy with your results.

Once again, thank you for everything.

[SlackerDude]

:cheers: keep up the good work H.K.

[kiyomi]

*sigh*

I'm still waiting on my story.

*goes christmas shopping*

[Leader Desslock]

EDIT: Desslock, I forgot to add in: did I write story the way you wanted it to be? I worried I strayed from what it was you asked. If needed, I'll rewrite it.
Very nice little piece. I like the way you continued the flow from your earlier work (Mel's). Sorry it's been a while for me to finally respond.

What's funny is that it's not what I expected. There's nothing wrong with that at all; in fact I appreciate that more than if it'd been just what I had in mind. The unexpected is always more welcome. As for fulfilling the requirements, it's pretty much spot on.

What's clever is that while the moment of the introspection occurs in the present, the incident itself is much farther in the past. I expected that, but you went way back to when Integra was a girl. The clever bit is that you're using it to explain her present personality, rather than adding a facet to the character that has to be incorporated into the character. That shows an awareness and understanding of the existing character, which was kind of what I was going for.

The purpose in my request was to see another aspect of your writing. You'd proven more than capable at description, so I wanted to see what happened when you moved into character development. As expected, you had it covered and then some.

Things I liked: As always, I quite enjoy the way you choose your words to describe a scene. It's not a stray leaf or branch, it's a rebellious one. Nice. The manicured perfection of an English garden, and the battle to maintain it.

Pacing: Just about right, I'd say. You're just over 5K words, you've had the initial encounter, the tension has built to an appropriate level, you've established that all is not entirely as it seems with the Vampire Queen. You've also set the stage for some nice character development for Integra (trust issues) whose internal struggles can mirror the battles going on around her.

A very solid start, if you ever wanted to go on from there. Nice job.


Things I would check: It's an excellent first draft, where you want to keep all the ideas out there. If you were ever to finish the work and do a global edit/rewrite for consistency, I'd concentrate on tightening the language a bit. You want it heavy to convey the feel of the manor and the series, but sentences like this could be streamlined:

"To its left was a grand park tended on a regular basis to nip any rebellious branch or leaf that had almost begun to grow as if its purpose was to defile the symmetry of the area"

You could break that in two, maybe. Or perhaps you could say, "a well-maintained park" to condense the phrases. I dunno, something like that. just a few tweaks here and there, I'd say.

[Holy Knight]

Thanks for the feedback, Desslock!

It's good to know things turned out quite well and that you liked it. I don't really have any comments to add in other than that. I still have to practice tightening, as you say, and that should come with time.

As for character development, that's what I'm going to heavily rely on in Kiyomichan's upcoming story (sorry for it being delayed so much, but my work hours had just been increased for this week. I should get it out by monday.) and I'm even going to force it, in a sense. We'll see how that one turns out.

However, I have one question: let's assume I inadvertently DO come up with something very clever, how do I know someone won't steal it? I acknowledge there is a certain level of risk involved in posting up your writings online and I certainly wouldn't want to stop doing so out of a baseless fear. Nor would I even wish to limit the quality of my work. Sure, it's not as if what I'm writing has much importance on an anime board, but I simply wish to be sure that what is mine stays mine. Any way to do this without stunting myself? Or am I just being paranoid and arrogant?

[Leader Desslock]

Well, there's a bit of a trick there. You're writing about other peoples' characters to begin with. Technically, they're the ones that should be able to stop you from absconding with their clever idea. ^_^ If you wanted, you could always throw a copyright notice on the text. Give the original authors credit for the characters and whatnot, but reserve rights on the story and its distribution? I dunno, it's kinda weak, but it could reserve at least writing credit for you for the story, maybe.

If you do write up a solid idea that you're interested in protecting, I'd recommend hosting it on a fiction site or your own website, rather than the AN forum. It'll be more manageable, I think.

If you write an original story with original characters and the work is entirely yours, I'd make sure you slap a copyright notice on it to reserve all rights to yourself. I believe that it's implied by default, but it's still good practice.

[SlackerDude]

oh, good, i thaught it was just me .. i always wanted to place copyright notes on my stuff on the forums, but i didn't want to sound like a paranoid @$$, being the only one to do so .. thanks Desslock^_^

[SlackerDude]

oh, good, i thaught it was just me .. i always wanted to place copyright notes on my stuff on the forums, but i didn't want to sound like a paranoid @$$, being the only one to do so .. thanks Desslock^_^

[kiyomi]

Hey Knight..

If you're having problems with my story..then don't rush it..

and don't sweat it.

I can still wait.

It's not like I'm going anywhere..or doing anything.

[Holy Knight]

Oh, I'd never think of appropriating these stories here as mine only. That's one reason why I edited my original post to include the story request in itself. Sure, it's not as if I would come up with anything truly good at this stage of my writing ability, but I just want to make sure. Anyway, thanks for the advice!

[Holy Knight]

Part 1: Encounter

Village of Spartos, Earth.
Year: May 19, 2478

I’m very happy: I just got a job so I can finally support my family! Studying has been difficult lately and I’m glad that’s over. I can now focus on bringing in some dough for my three younger brothers and mother. My mother bought me this journal so I could keep up my writing. It’s quite lousy, so she thought it’d help for my new job. As if you need writing skills to handle meat! So anyway, I got a job at the local meat factory and everyone looked very nice and supportive even though it wasn’t the best of places. That’s not their fault though. Everyone around here knows each other and we depend on each other as well. Works out very well too. The Outer-Ring of Cronos, even though it’s a bit run-down, doesn’t stop us from being the cheerful people of Spartos. We’re only a small village, so we depend on the factories of Cronos. Ya see, the Outer-Ring is composed of five villages that surround the main city. I find everyone in the city to be prissy snobs who keep looking down on us. I’d love to have as much wealth as they do. That’d be great. Palaces as our homes and we can do what we want! Even get one of those fancy new flying cars. My friend Jacob stole one from a businessman last week and whoa, do those things go fast. We almost crashed, too. Well, we did in a way, but that was after we got out and the thing just went on from a parked state to sound speed in the blink of an eye for no apparent reason. We were very lucky no one got hurt. Nerd-boy Chris, as we call him went on about complicated stuff like how the electro-something fields of the city couldn’t handle whatever powers the car because we were too far from it. Anyway, I’m rambling here, so let me get to the point: I got a great job that should help us get along better and that’s all good for now! I’ll write more once I have the time. They intend to make me earn my pay and I think one of the managers was having some bad thoughts about me since he probably remembered the time I put a lizard down his pants five years ago. Man, I was 13 at the time; he can forgive me, can’t he?

May 24

Ugh, apparently he doesn’t forgive. Made me mop the floor of the entire factory on the first day! Do you know how long it takes to cover the whole floor? It’s huge! And that was only on the first day, too. Next, he places me in charge of unwrapping the meat and placing it on the trays so they can process the things. The catch? By the time those huge packets come into my hands, they’re partially thawed so I often gets bucket loads of blood on me. And the stuff stinks, too! I swear it’s harder to take out of your hair than my failed experiment with electricity and mutant frogs (don’t ask). They’re paying me good, though, so that kinda compensates. We had some higher-ups come over to inspect the place today so we had to get everything extra clean and neat. They shook my hand jovially and made a scene of noticing me, but I felt their breath down my neck the whole time. Creeps, all of them. Oh yeah, the control room had a slight electrical circuit that blew out. Nothing big, it just seemed to be a fuse that blew out. We got an early coffee break, though!

June 2

We had a slight problem at the factory today and I had to come over and try to smooth it out. Apparently, the same thing happened today in the control room as last time, and since it is known I know a bit about conduits, I came over to see what I could do (our manager is such a stickler for money, its almost funny at times. Not when it involves, though). I checked it out and it seemed the same fuse went out, so I called for another one, stronger this time. Just to be sure, I went over the circuitry (even though I didn’t understand most of it) and I found it odd to see that two wires under the control board had been manually cut. I followed these and they led to the lever that operated the lift for garbage meat. Was some kind of sicko playing a dirty stinker on us? I mentioned the cut wires, but not my suspicion to the managers and he seemed oddly pensive about it for a second. I asked him if there was anything wrong with it and he told to get back to work, so I had no choice but to comply. That made me think there might be more under the surface than just a prank.

June 6

Ooo, my back hurts. Been hauling heavy cartons since the day I checked out the circuit board. Them overlords at the factory really wanted me to forget the incident as quickly as possible. Too tired to write more tonight other than that.

June 7, 1:32 a.m.

Writing this in a hurry. There’s been a huge explosion at the factory. Gonna check it.

June 7, 6:47 a.m.

What happened? I don’t know. I’m in a daze right now. I think I blanked out once I saw the burning factory up close. Don’t know what happened, but the villagers are looking at me like I was a demon or something. Oh, Chris. Whatever did you do to deserve such a fate? I tried getting into your house, but that big sheet of metal just came out of nowhere and cleaved it right down the left side and I was right there in front of it and all. They say they found you in two. I won’t believe that, I won’t. May you rest in piece. Haha, in piece. Right. What am I saying? I don’t know what to think, I I I I’m muddled an' everything. Can’t say what’s up from down any more. Only five casualties they say. THEY! WHAT DO THEY KNOW? Have they ever lived through this? What do they know of pain? I don’t feel any. Emotional I mean. I’m burned all over, yeah I am. And here they come for more questioning. I’ll give them all they want to hear, all right, and more.

June, 7 10:28 a.m.

Get a load of this. They say I deflected most of the flames with some sort of energy barrier. Yeah, riiiight. They trying to comfort me or something? And there was this old guy here looking like some sort of robot with pipes protruding from his chest asking weird questions. I just told him everything as best I could. And –


Carefully handling the small notebook, J read over the few pages that had been written. He found the youth to be quite valuable, unlike what the city Elders held as opinion. He watched in an amused fashion as he struggled against the officer holding down his seat. Through the wad of socks that muffled words he was apparently demanding the return of his little journal as well as attempting rude gestures through the binds that kept him glued to his seat. Since it had already been copied down, J returned it kindly and told the officer to leave them alone at his desk for a while. Removing the youth’s socks from his own mouth, the officer quickly left.

A string of loud curses and much shouting followed and made the room reverberate in a way that J could only call anger. It was fascinating. It seemed as if the walls themselves held all the torment contained within the unknowing subject in front of him. Patiently waiting until the youth had exhausted his interminable tirade, J went about calmly organizing things on his desk. It was a simple one, nothing fancy, though accounted to be out of date. Wood was out of fashion, but J found he like the smooth mahogany study. One of his drawers was partially stuck so he had to yank it open every time he wanted to reach something inside. He liked the smell it gave off. A little bit oily with a whiff of old shoes was just right to his senses. He suddenly looked up at the silence that had been lingering for a few moments and was pleased to see the youth looked as if he’d run a swift ten miles.

Smiling, J said: “Hello”. After a few moments of silence, the youth looked up with a fierce fire burning in his eyes and opened his mouth, probably to give off another scorcher. J was amazed at the incredible vitality that he displayed and would have like to see just how far he could have pushed the youth, but he cut him off abruptly by saying: “What’s your name, kid?” The youth glared at him until he decided it wouldn’t carry him anywhere and was about to give it. However, he just stood there with a bland expression on his face with his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. “Is there anything wrong?” Asked J. He sighed. “Are you going to make this any more difficult than it already is?” Shaking himself up, the youth whispered something that only J’s ears could hear: “I-I don’t know”. Studying him for a while, J came to the conclusion that he did not know. “I see” He said. This startled the other, who promptly demanded to know who he was. “I am known as Heat Guy J around here, though you may call me J” Said J. “I am a…well, we’ll say unique for now, prototype type-A+ city defender. I was built to protect the people of Cronos and so I work with the authorities.”

“As for your name, it was previously recorded as “James Steel Knight”, which you seem to have forgotten. Quite understandable under the circumstances, especially after those pyrotechnics you displayed down at factory 2-AC M.” This puzzled James. “What pyrotechnics?” He asked. J complied readily. “You sustained the factory’s fire and prevented its spread by setting up an energy barrier around the area. This made you, as you so wrote, “blank out”, though you seem to have had enough presence to run over to your friend’s house, though a bit late.” This made James furious. “A bit late?” He screamed. “Please, don’t start again. I might seem insensitive, but that’s only because I was programmed only to understand my own senses and not the emotions of others. Yes, we did treat you roughly after what must have been a harrowing experience for you, though I hope you will understand why.”

[Holy Knight]

[Part 1 continued]



“I am sure,” he continued. “You would be much more interested in knowing who caused the incident?” This made James features suddenly become much sharper. “We are still conducting an investigation. We know who may have caused the explosion and we are hoping you might help us.” “I could?” Asked James. “Yeah, right. And use…uhh…superpowers, huh?” J stalled him before he could go on. “I will have you know that humans with the ability to use their immediate environment to their advantage have made sudden appearances around the world. You aren’t the first and certainly won’t be the last. The best minds of Earth have been doing extensive research into this new phenomena and it seems current human evolution has been rapidly expanding for the last eight decades or so. These new individuals are highly intelligent beings that directly speak to the fabric that composes the universe. Their fate so far has been to turn towards the insane side, since the human brain has not developed sufficiently to keep up with the sudden unlocking of a dormant area within it. So far, you are quite lucky. Your, pardon me for saying so, lack of intellect has saved you from this untimely demise by being unable to comprehend how this new power works.”

There was a long moment of silence. “Right.” Said James. “Right. So. Err. What am I supposed to do?” At this, the first true smile grew off the robotic features of J. He cocked his head slightly to the left, looking at James in a tilted fashion, as of an eagle waiting to see what his prey will do. “You kill me.” He said.

[Holy Knight]

Alright, there's part 1 of Kiyomichan's Arc. This shouldn't take more than two parts, but we'll see how it turns out.

As for the text itself, I intentionaly made sentence errors in the journal part, though nothing drastic. I just wanted to give the impression of lack of culture and writing skills, as well as a direct insight into our main character's mind. Right after the journal part, though, we get J's point of view.

Overall, this ain't my best work. It may seem erratic at times and the flow of it may seem to break off at some parts and I would have loved to fill those in with much more appropriate content. However, that would make the whole thing much longer than I could handle currently, so you'll have to excuse my lack of finesse for this one. :bow:

[kiyomi]

Oh hell, Knight..at first, I didn't think I was going to like it..but after reading what you wrote..I absolutly love it!! Great job well done hun!!

Am excited to see Part 2 of my story...er...your story..

and once again, thank you so much for doing such a great job on the writing!

[SlackerDude]

That was AWESOME! a little bit of "childhood's end" and "akira" in it .. and the letters, that's a pretty interesting way to start a text! cool!
one suggestion though: um, you might wanna cut back on the date of the action with a figure or two .. i mean, 192,478 just isn't that plausibile for a society that still works pretty much like ours-_-;

[kiyomi]

Holy Knight..

Even tho I am leaving the Forum..I will check here periodically to see if you've posted the rest of my story.

Thanks so much for even taking the time and effort into posting and thinking up such a wonderful storyline!

All my best to you,
Kiyomi

[Holy Knight]

I wish you the best, then.

As for the storyline, I have no idea as to when I'll have it up. I just got surgery to remove my four wisdom teeth this morning, so I'm too woozy to do anything about it. Luckily I got 5 days off work, so maybe I can squeeze it in there somewhere. We'll see how my recovery goes.

And Slackerdude, after this part, you're up next!

[kiyomi]

I'm sticking around until I hit 1000 posts..yeah..you'll have to put up with me for a bit longer than expected..

FOUR wisdom teeth??!! cripes all mighty hun..hope you get better!!

And like I said..take your time..there's no rush..

How in the world do you get FOUR wisdom teeth pulled all in the same day?? geezus....anyway, just rest and recover.

Write when you can think more clearly and out of pain..

[SlackerDude]

hah! :D 894 pst ..it seems you're gonna have to put up with US a bit longer Kiyomi ..
anyway i can't wait to see how the dbz story will turn out, i'm crossing my fingers^_^

[kiyomi]

wow..I'm at 895..cool! but yeah..it'll take me some time to hit the 1000 mark.

Oh well..ya all will have to put up with ME for that much longer.

muwahaha...