FanFiction by DatDude

[DatDude]

http://www.darkscribes.org/index.php?action=4&user=83

Please let me know what you think.

[Seele08]

Hell I've read it and I liked it! The chairman didn't approve because he got made fun of! Apologize to K-Chan! :P

[DatDude]

Sorry chairman I'll give him a bigger role in my next story :)

[Seele08]

You called him fat....and made fun of him for being a cyborg! Machines are people too! :P Poor K-Chan might not recover!

[DatDude]

Ok K-Chan im sorry. ^_^

[DatDude]

Theirs been a few updates since I posted this so BUMP

[DatDude]

Stick me with a fork I'm done. Let me know if ya like it over all.

[Leader Desslock]

For which story are you seeking feedback?

General comments after reading the single chapter "untitled" and the first couple of chapters of "Redeeming the Demon": Pretty well written prose; it all reads easily. Specific suggestions:

1) Stop trusting a computer to do your spell-checking and grammar checking. Print a hardcopy and go through it with a pen. Encourage someone else to do this for you at least once.

2) Homonyms. You often use an incorrect, similar-sounding word to the one you want. If I had to guess the reason for this, I'd say it comes from clicking the first word proposed by the spellchecker. The spellchecker doesn't know the difference in context between 'bare' and 'bear', so this is a bad idea.

3) Commas. I've noticed, that in a lot, of places, you like to use, commas, a lot. In other situations you don't use them at all which struck me as odd but I can't really see enough of a pattern to tell what's going on. Take a run through your prose and check for comma usage (or lack).

Other than that, it's some pretty solid prose for a fanfic. Kudos.

[DatDude]

I have a new story called Ambition. Give it a look is you have the time. Same link

[SlackerDude]

yep, that is a really solid fanfic all right, one of the best i've read so far^_^
you should probably have someone adapt it into manga because it would be a shame to let it go to waste
Desslock's right, though .. lay off the spellcheckers programs and do the work manually .. i figure since you're a good writer you won't have any problems with a little spelling

[DatDude]

Update again!

OH and yea I know about the bugy characters in chapter two the DS crew are working on it

[BLACKANGEL32076]

I read the both of them on ff.net. Good stuff and worth reading.

[DatDude]

Another update. I've had free time can you tell?

[mecegirl]

I've read Ambition I must admit I don't like evengelion but I do like your fic. It's a neat take on Asuka's mother.

[DatDude]

Chapter three and four got re touched and now flow a lot better

[DatDude]

Number fives up

[DatDude]

and then their were eight

[DatDude]

and its done

[DatDude]

I have a new fic http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3275753/5/

praise me!